Our Porcelain Life

Today was one of those days, as a parent, I kept wishing I could freeze time. As we celebrated Cola's second birthday at Disney, I was hopeful for a spectacular "magical day" where her priceless expressions wouldn't fade and her heartwarming laughter would echo forever. The day was hers but the more we gave her the day love seeped through the minutes and made it ours. I watched Dalen struggle to let her have her complimentary "Happy Birthday" button from guest services and stand patiently while she got a birthday phone call from Goofy and I felt at that moment if I loved him anymore my heart would burst.
It's these moments.

So moving, few and far between - the older they get.

It's these moments that we draw strength from in the struggle of life. We drink from their rays that still warm us years later when we find ourselves in a sunless state. It's these moments that make grace that much more tangible because to be this blessed is just not deserving.
These moments, that are so generous for years to come seem to ground us, propel us and it isn't until tragedy strikes we realize these moments aren't as endless and strong as we hoped. They are like fine china, beautiful yet fragile. They must be cradled like a baby, cherished, nurtured because before to long forever cheats us and they begin to transform into a "has been". Just like a newborn, the person is the same yet the face changes greatly over time and we forget those early smiles, first laughs and hopes for forever.
The only way to savor the taste of today is by letting the emotion of the memory marinate in your heart forever, refusing to allow bitterness or resentment or sadness or time handle these gracious happenings roughly.

As your children grow older and like you less and tell you more than you can handle, cleanse the hurt with these moments of porcelain, refresh your mind with the sweet and faint echo of their laughter, and purify your love for them with the unconditional grace you had for them when they were too young to know better.

Moments.

Life.

Handle it all with care.

Mommy Moments.

Only a mother would understand that title. Mommy Moments. You know...

Those moments where your toddler's meltdown pails in comparison to the meltdown you are having. Those moments where you are ready to clock out for the night and realize oh, wait you can't do that in the profession of motherhood. Or what about those moments where your child has a "moment" and you wonder, is this God trying to give me a revelation that what method of correction I just chose is like an allergic reaction to shellfish and I should promptly chuck it and never try that again??

This week so full of those moments. Am I the only one or does every mother constantly second guess

if they are doing the right thing?

Choosing the right methods of correction?

Not scarring their kids for life?

If it's possible to stop saying no so they don't ruin their chance at positivity?

AHHHHHH!

Yeah! It's been one of those weeks!

Gosh I feel like the more I read and the harder I try the farther I am to figuring out this whole parenting thing. IT'S SO HARD! I thought no sleep was hard, I thought dirty diapers were the only thing my kid could do to make my stomach turn! That's a piece of cake compared to dealing with allergies that WON'T go away, keeping appointments straight for both kids, trying to figure out if my toddler can REALLY be that mean or does he have food allergies that alter his behavior, choosing effective correction...

I mean really what is effective correction anyway? Like how do you know?? After trying a certain method of correction for two months how do you finally draw a conclusion uh this isn't working without feeling like a total failure. I'm just asking the real questions. The ones NO ONE answers BEFORE you have kids.

Ugh.

I just want to know what I am doing is right and good. But I feel like you never know until your kid is 20 and angry at the world because the parent was wack. Oh Lord, please don't let that be me!

Speechless

This week had me speechless, at least I thought. Obviously, if I am blogging I have SOMETHING to say. This week has been one of those week of overloads. Something everyday and every night. New opportunities, exciting possibilities, inspiring life stories, parent co-op day at D's school...you get the point TOTAL overload. I am processing the good, the bad and the ugly.

Tomorrow my friend Abby leaves for Cambodia for at least two years. She won't have her phone number anymore and communication won't be as easy as shooting a text and to be honest I am thankful for that. I think during this season of her life she will realize how many people are so devoted to her life by showing they are willing to go the extra to communicate with her during this transition.

We had our good bye conversation tonight which we both agreed we had no idea what to say. And that's where my blog comes in. I was wondering whether to just spill the beans or to be speechless. Like, do I take the risk of sharing how much she will be missed and upsetting her or not say it and run the risk of her thinking I totally don't care she's halfway around the world? Do I ask how reliable the internet is over there and share I am totally freaked it will suck and we will never get to skype and have to start writing old fashioned letters and then forget the way her voice sounds? Ugh. I just didn't know what to say or do and I still don't.

I feel as though I am being challenged to be more than words of support. Better yet, how can I support her? Support her with works and prayers and a little bit of money....sorry, it's all we can spare! HA!

I am really scared. Not at all for her. I have a total peace she is doing the right thing and will succeed but at the same time I am scared for me. Will her life be totally, radically changed and mine stay the same? Will she come home to visit and I be the annoying friend who just totally doesn't get the real world she's lived? (read Kisses From Katie) I feel like cockroaches will become more like a random ant that's easy to overlook and dirty children, her own and the poor, her friends and the sick, the un-ignorable. I guess it challenges me to allow my life to be more sensitive here, where I am. And, no, I don't think I will ever see a roach and let it scurry off without sleeping with a broom in hand but reaching out to the poor and praying for the sick and loving orphans...yeah, I think I can do that better.

So here is to admitting I have no clue what to say tonight although I feel I have said much. I think I am feeling everything she is just from the opposite end. I am exciting, overwhelmed, challenged, sad, nervous and ready to get the ball rolling...so the two years will end! :)

Sheltered Protection

Before I really get where I am going, let me make a few things clear: I have no interest in sheltering my children. I believe communication is the key in jumping the hurdles of negative exposure the world is constantly advertising. It's not my desire for my kids to hear about or learn about sex, profanity, war, homosexuality, abuse, drunkenness or like behaviors at an early age but I do desire that they learn about all of these things from me. Why? Because with me they will always get the truth whereas with an uneducated classmate they could possibly get manipulated in believing untrue and unbiblical principles pertaining to these topics.

In saying all of this, I have to confess the world makes me nervous. I have nothing against teachers, my gosh they try the best they can, but the things I see on the news pertaining to the public school system scare me! It is NOT the same world I knew at 6 and 10 and even 14 or 15.

However, I don't believe that it's wise to shelter our children. When we shelter our children our efforts are fear based as opposed to faith based. We are hiding the truth as opposed to sharing and learning the truth TOGETHER. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that my four year old is ready to hear about the consequences of a one night stand or what it means for a child to be raped but I do believe every God fearing parent can be spirit led into giving age appropriate explanations that will cease curious searching for answers to very important questions. When our curiosity goes searching any answer will do.

I believe my responsibility as a mother is to provide protection against the untruths that exist. When we provide protection we are operating in faith that the word of God and spirit we are led by will not lead us or our children astray.

After hearing a recent news report about "scream rooms" in public schools I found myself fearful. What my kids will see, hear, and witness remains a mystery now but one day it will be reality. I also just read reports of billboards young children are being exposed to that give confusing messages pertaining to God and how he operates. The truth is you can't hide the big bad world that's out there. It's lurking, waiting and one day it will be exposed for her raw and perverse and untrue self.

I guess this post is more about empowerment to any reading mother. There isn't an untruth or immoral existing thing occurring in this world God doesn't know about. And there isn't a person who knows the love we have for our children better than He. Don't be fearful of exposure and certainly don't hide the truth to these issues. Use them as a way to expose your children to the truth and a closer relationship with you.

Let your faith be strengthened and your fear be eliminated! Choose protection!

Before

After

So, the unthinkable happened. Dalen asked for a haircut...JUST like his dads. I'm not one to deprive my child of the freedom to choose their own outfits (even if they don't quite match), choose what they want for lunch and so on but I just wasn't ready to cut it THAT short. But I will say this, his hair is shorter than it's ever been since we have let it grow out. He really looks like a different kid. Too grown up, too polished and put together if you ask me but he loves it. Every morning he washes his own hair, brushes it and claims to "style it". What a divo!

Today Cola begins speech therapy in our home. We are thinking she possibly has a slight speech delay and just want to stay on top of things so prevent her from getting behind. What is this woman going to do??!! I am really curious to find out!

Nothing heavy, deep or inspirational today just wanted to give a brief update.

FOCUS

It is often hard to get back to the daily grind. After nearly two weeks of company, three weeks of Dalen being off from pre-school, Mario having a week off of work and various activities related to Christmas/New Year's our schedule has resumed as "normal".

Which leads me to the question what is normal? I'm not exactly sure how any married mother follows a rigid plan. If it works for you or them, that's great but I've found there is no normal around here. Every week is an exception to normal. There is always an event at Dalen's school, youth outing, date night or something of the sense that is preventing us from maintaining a week to week norm. And I must admit I am learning to love and embrace it.

As a stay at home mom I look forward to mixing things up and also teaching my children to be flexible to different schedules and events. I am certain if we followed a rigid routine I would be saying "no" to a lot of the things I love. I have also learned while loving weeks that are full of random activities we choose to attend that I have to stay focused on priorities and finances.

It's easy to lose sight of these things in the midst of a chaotic world that seems to be spinning from one service to another's birthday party to my doctor's check-up. So this year my word is FOCUS. Focus on everything. Keep in sight what really matters and everything else will become part of a hazy background you forget is even there.

I really felt my word for 2012 was confirmed when my husband chose the same word a few weeks ago but I took some extra time to think it through. FOCUS it is!

Word.

I'm not big into New Year's Resolutions. I'm not against them and have faith people can keep them if they choose them wisely. I, personally, have just tried to develop a lifestyle of reflection and bettering myself constantly.

I am, however, trying something new. I am searching for a word. A perfect word, that will define, guide and focus my year. A word that will emphasize what exactly it is the Lord wants me to accomplish, attempt and specifically devote myself to.

I asked my FB friends what their word would be for 2012 and got a really overwhelming response. I heard everything from recovery to victory to survival (my favorite, from my friend who is moving to Cambodia in a just a few days) to my crazy uncle who responded laziness. HA! I am going back and forth between just a few words that keep ringing inside of me.

When we are focused on a purpose, we tend to plan a strategy and planning is the personal assistant of success. I have been so inspired by people's personal stories around me. I am closely following an adoption story, missionary story, and of course the stories of those who have gone before me, in the Bible. Every successful story may not have started with a plan but somewhere along the way it recognized the importance of strategy.

I'll let you know what word I choose.

Out with the old, in with the new

Goodbye 2011, hello 2012!

It's been almost two weeks since I blogged last. Here are the highlights and thoughts regarding Christmas this year.

1) Not emphasizing gifts this year was the absolute BEST thing we have ever done as parents. It is def not a one year thing.

2) A memory I will take from this year forever will be the night The Polar Express came on ABC Family channel. I made a pallet for me and D and we laid and watched the entire thing while drinking hot cocoa from glass mugs. So much fun and def his fav. book and movie we watched this holiday season.

3) We read about 25 Christmas books as a family.

4) Without my emphasis on gifts my daughter still ended up with 7 baby dolls from friends and family. If that doesn't tell you something...

5) Christmas Eve was amazing. It was jammed of loud fun with all of the Vining family cousins. We scored a George Foreman grill in the gift exchange. SUPER HAPPY!

6)Christmas Day was great. Breakfast with family, church, lunch with the family, read Christmas story, THEN gifts.

7) My sister and friend came to visit for 7 days! It's the longest any visitors have stayed since we moved. Although I endured something that felt like strep and Cola got a double ear infection we managed to make a glorious breakfast daily and enjoy 80 degree weather! Yes, you read that correctly...eighty.

8)I had to hide many friends this on FB this season. Got sick of hearing of late packages and their Christmas being "ruined" because their child would be one gift short. I'm sure they're still breathing...

9) I'm really hoping 2010 took a few words and phrases with it...like #justsayin', epic and that's all. Anyone else feel like these follow every tweet or FB status. Drives me nuts.

Enjoy a few pics of our holiday

Dalen and Cola in their pajamas. Christmas Eve
Cola in my cousins new winter wear!
Me and my boy!
One of the many trucks he got from family and friends.
Six kids! It was LOUD! And Oh, so fun!
Christmas day!

Umm, defriend!

I totally realize that if I were to tell you how annoyed I am at all of the complaints I read on FB and see on Twitter I would be just another guilty complainer. So, I will try to prove a point without complaining.

Obviously, I am guilty of complaining, I wrote about it a few posts back. It got pretty bad and just listening to myself was annoying. But honestly, I have NEVER in my life seen or heard more continuous complaining in my life! I am talking about day after day, post after post, every pain, disappointment, relationship problem posted for the entire world to read. No, I do not mind the occaisonal, "I need prayer, my back is killing me" post or even "the kids are driving me madd"-it keeps you real- but honestly I am about to contact the DSM to see if there is a disorder called Compulsive Complaining.

Because I noticed this problem in my own life, I have BEEN amazed at how many things you can find that just tickle you happy if you are attentive to your life. Seriously, there are SOOOO many things, small, unimportant things that I LOVE about this place called earth and yes, of course there are things that I despise but I just don't wish to meditate upon them day in and out for weeks at a time.

For those of you who are guilty of complaining and say, "So glad for you, Megan! Glad your life is THAT perfect that you can refrain from complaining" it has nothing to do with a perfect life and everything to do with the practice of self-control. Of course, I would love to vent about the terrible nights sleep I got two weeks back, or that every morning I wake up to neck and/or back pain or my old car or you name it...but COME ON PEOPLE! If you are breathing give some praise every now and again.

Just in case you wonder what ridiculous things I find myself so thankful for here are a few....

I am so thankful for to-go cup lids. I love them because they say Coke and Diet and I always punch Coke for Cola and Diet for Dalen so I can keep them seperate.

I love turning down our curvy street, slowly, because there is a walking trail and I get to see little babies pushed in their strollers and cute dogs being walked with wagging tails.

The fact that my back windows roll down and up is such a blessing. Its Cola's daily treat to stick her little fingers through the small cracks and feel the wind after dropping Dad and Dalen off at work and school.

I love that I've found so many FREE things to do with my kids like checking out library books, playing at Chik-fil-A playground or the indoor playground at the mall.

Super stoked I finally got a smart phone and it was FREE!

See, it's that easy.

And I must just end with this....do not justify your complaining with praise after. People who complain EVERYDAY and then follow the complaint by "oh, but God is so good" or "I know God will heal me" seriously it doesn't make it any better.

I've found a solution to toxic complaining....DEFRIEND!

Debt

This month is one of those months every young couple (don't let me know if I'm wrong, I'd like to think I am not alone) experiences. Unexpected bills hit you from every angle and messes up the budget you have tried so hard to master. And what other month would be better than, December? I must say I am really glad I don't have the added stress of feeling obligated to give my kids the entire world on Christmas Day.

Tonight, Mario and I cooked together in the kitchen. Our meals haven't been experimental recipes found on Pinterest this week but rather bland and casual as we try to cut back on everything we can. But this morning I found a frozen pack of pork chops and we whipped up an awesome dinner! Cajun fried pork chops! YUM!

We cooked in silence except for the nice voice of John Meyer humming in the background from Mario's phone. Like usual we sat the table, all of our bright red plates full of a great meal we prepared. We joined hands to pray and with hearts of thanks there was a moment of an overwhelming sense of peace that everything will be ok. My husband led the prayer and thanked God that "our love for one another will never be in debt".

It was with that line I realized my heart was full. My hands may look empty but my heart is full. And with that thanks and a Christmas candle lit in the center of the table we ate and laughed as if all was well in our life and then I realized, it was. All was/is well.

The money we have lost or have yet to discover is nothing that hard work can't reproduce but the love we have for one another is absolutely priceless and without it we would feel the pain of debt in our heart not just in our pockets.

Laying Things To Rest

I have found it so easy to become depressed during the Christmas holidays; it's cold outside, dark early and the ending of another year is tying up lose ends.

The end of every year I find myself reflecting upon the memories - good and bad. And of course, we all begin to think and dream about the year to come. I don't think there's ever been a year where I've said, "I did it all!" or "I accomplished all I wanted or could have!". Every year I find myself somewhat disappointed that I didn't do more, try harder or dream bigger.

This year I can hardly handle the heartache of not being in a house. I feel like our entire life was wrapped around looking, planning, saving, researching and dreaming of what Cola's second birthday would be like in our very own home or what Christmas would be like in our new place. When I start thinking of the end I know the beginning is just around the corner. 2012 will be here before we know it. Part of me just wants to lay things to rest. Stop hoping and believing for these big things to happen for our family and just dream differently.

But I am realizing the dream didn't fail, the plan did. The dreamer in us will never die but sometimes we just have to try a different route and plan a different strategy. My nerves become immediately frazzled when I think of starting to save for a house from scratch again. Everything we held on to is now gone - gone to dental work, hospital bills or rent payments.

I'm not sure what our new plan will be or how we can do it better but I don't want the dream to die. The plan may need to be rebirthed but the dream has to live on.

Craziness

Have you ever just looked around and thought, "Wow, this world we live in is just craziness?" Things people do don't make sense, sometimes. *This post is written while laughing, not complaining. So just enjoy my sarcasm.


Like, Target. Can you please tell me why in the world you are already selling bathing suits? It JUST got cold! Not to mention, who wants to think of getting in a bathing suit right around the Holidays...aka excuse to gain a good extra 5 lbs.?

And then there is the let's throw a party extroverts who want to invite you over (totally fine) and then suggest let's do a gift exchange! The most annoying part...they follow it up with oh, but don't buy anything big, just a little $5 something or another. Really, people, what's even the point? So you venture out in traffic (aka the black plague) to hunt a $5 something or another and realize there is absolutely NOTHING decent for a mere $5 and even if there was you can't look THAT cheap so you end up spending $15.

Oh, and I must mention room mothers. I had no idea Dalen's school had room mothers, I'm sure they kept it a secret in fear I would volunteer to be one HAHAHA. Anyways, I get a e-mail from a woman I have never met and whose name I couldn't pronounce if you paid me to asking me (and apparently the rest of the mothers of the class) should we get the teachers a gift (well of course) and would you be willing to chip in and do I have suggestions. How nice! (really) But then I get 15 e-mails in response to her e-mail saying things like "yes" or "sounds great". Uhh, yes, we should get them a gift? Or sounds great for us to chip in....AHH I was so confused and no one ever left a suggestion. So, if you are a room mother, take charge. A little clarity goes a long way.

The "Me" In Megan

Today is one of those days. Everything is going smoothly except for the occasional glitch every family experiences, every morning. But it's one of those days I am totally dreaming of shopping for winter scarves and new boots, getting a much needed manicure, eating a nice quiet lunch with a close friend and then napping with Mario.

I think "Me" is in Megan for a reason. I think of "Me" waaaay too much somedays. I wake up wanting things I know I can't afford and desire to pamper myself with things I don't have time for, in spite of having two children. Sometimes accepting the fact that I can't enjoy my life at my own leisure on most days is still a struggle. Of course, I am totally human - I long to sleep in but I have two alarm clocks called children and unfortunately they do not come equipped with a snooze button. I would love to sit for 15 minutes straight and paint my nails but I typically paint one stroke at a time and in between I am blowing a nose or digging something out of my baby's throat. Sometimes I go to church or the grocery store with a half painted hand. It's better to be half put together than not put together at all??

Sometimes the most beautiful thing about motherhood is that life is no longer about me and sometimes it serves as the greatest challenge. I wish I could say I wake up everyday bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to whip up a homemade breakfast and dress each child in a crisp, clean, freshly ironed outfit that matches perfectly. Unfortunately, some mornings I wake up and don't see Mom I see the "Me" in Megan.

I think every mother has these days. Days where shopping and pampering are a dream and reality is carpool, potty training and possibly a shower. Its tough. Nothing I haven't learned to conquer in time but it's still tough.

My Word

Is anyone else's mailbox overflowing with catalogs and sales ads? Seriously, I don't care you are selling oven mits for $.99 I just want my personalized Christmas cards from friends and family! We got our first one in the mail the other day. I LOVE cards!

Is anyone else bothered by all of the people who see your kids and without asking how they are or what fun things they are doing for Christmas with mom and dad they ask that annoying question, "What do you want for Christmas?" Well, of course that's all they ask, I mean it matters most right?

Yes. Bah Humbug.

I know. I can't picket America. I can't destroy consumerism. I can't impose my thoughts and beliefs upon others but really if you take a minute and evaluate you will see JUST how bad it is! It is BAD out there. Everywhere you turn there are commercials and ads and junk e-mails about stuff, things, toys.

My word right now is, focused. I am bombarded COMPLETELY with the emphasis on gifts but somehow, someway I am managing to stay on track. I'm sorry but I am totally patting myself on the back, cheering my family on and leading my kids right to the manger where we should be. And no, I am going batty or trying to be annoying but I think we all need focus right now.

Parties. Wish Lists. Traveling. Finances. Family. Work. Friends. School parties. It's almost impossible to not be overwhelmed! I thought the way to go was to do 1st things 1st but I am realizing if it's not 1st than it's not important. At some point we have to say no or maybe later or to be honest but my calendar is going to puke if I book another event that isn't being spent with my loved ones.

I feel so right about this. It's not a stand or a statement-it's a lifestyle. One I hope to God goes to my kids and straight to their kids and down to their kids. This is where I want my fingerprint, on generations to come. I want to make a difference and an impact, a radical change starting with my family.

You don't have to have a lot to give a lot. The most valuable thing you can give is time and it doesn't cost a dime.

Kisses

I feel like my heart is exploding with so many emotions and my body with so many feelings. Since late last night I can feel my body fighting off something icky, since yesterday morning my heart has reflected upon our morning sermon by a guest speaker who spoke on self-encouragement. Late this afternoon I finished the book Kisses From Katie which I KNOW I read in perfect timing. It is a book about giving, not about giving something but giving everything. It is a MUST READ. I typically ALWAYS give my books away when I'm done but this one I know I will go back to.

In this season of my life, where I am trying my best to be a great mom and a teacher of all things good I am being intentional about what I read. After seeing this book on my friends blog I knew it would be great to read around the holidays so that I would be encouraged and inspired to stay focused on giving and family. It's a book for EVERYONE-one who is considering adoption, one who wants to know more about the life of a missionary, one who wants to know more about Jesus and the fulfillment of His plans for our lives.

I am pleased to say that since the Friday after Thanksgiving I have checked out about a total of 18 books from the library about Christmas. We have read these by the light of the Christmas tree, snuggled in bed together or on the go and in-between brushing teeth. The Polar Express is Dalen's favorite! We've read ones about there being no snow on the original Christmas and the legend of the candy cane and how what you believe is what you see. Dalen's imagination has soared from the sunny south to the frigid north pole. I love it!

I'm proud to say our tree is lit, and speckled with gorgeous ornaments and topped with an angel with a porcelain face (the entire thing was given to us-tree, ornaments and angel) and it's completely bare underneath. I am even prouder to say my son hasn't even noticed and has only mentioned gifts a few times. I'm telling you, there is power in what you emphasize. Last time he mentioned gifts he added a pogo stick to his wish list. It was in one of the books we read.

My heart is so full and hopeful for the 1st time in a while that I am doing this thing well. This thing we call motherhood, thing we've been blessed with called life. I've stayed encouraged by reflecting upon so many testimonies of what God has done in my life and marriage and family and I am trusting he will do it for others and in us AGAIN and AGAIN.

The Quietest Little Troublemaker

I never thought I would see the day where my daughter would give me trouble all day long. I mean she has always been so peaceful, snuggly, sweet and quiet. About a month ago I feel like a different child woke up and took over my kid!

Today I went to the kitchen to fix dinner and left Cola sitting with a book in the living room. I seriously never heard a peep! I figured she was looking quietly at her book, like always. Uh, no. She was taking every ornament off the tree....AGAIN...and had taken the entire strand of lights off. She was standing the arm of the couch leaning over and I caught her and the tree just as they both begin to sway and lose their balance. Did I mention I never heard a peep?

Dalen and I have read 10 Christmas books so far. Tonight was his favorite selection The Polar Express. We all piled in the bed as a family and I thought we were all listening intently as I read about the little boy who traveled by train to the North Pole. Umm, no. The next thing I know I see my petite, powdered-covered "princess" re-enter our bedroom with a shameful look on her face. She had stripped herself down to her pull up. I looked at my husband in disbelief and finally asked, "What? How? She was just laying next to me!" None of us ever heard her walk out of our room or get into the pantry, open the box of bisquick, pour it all over the kitchen floor and ROLL IN IT! Seriously! How quiet can a kid be? Well, I guess when I prayed my 2nd would be quieter than my 1st I surely found favor!

Not only has she been into things she has had a mind of her own. She casually tells us no with a roll of the eyes as if she is granting our every wish. It's crazy!

For some reason I think we are going to be seeing a lot of messes between the two Hoodlums. Let the good times roll!

The Gifts That Keep Giving.

I'm 27. I've been privileged to celebrate the birth of Christ in the company of family twenty-seven times. Every year we had a tree and the base was always hugged by gifts, surrounded by family and most years a warm fireplace. Christmas morning was the same most years; we got up early, read the Christmas story, prayed, opened gifts, ate breakfast, went back to sleep and then ate lunch. I never had a bad Christmas. They have all been full and wonderful.

This year we are getting the kids three gifts each. If it was good enough for Christ, it's plenty enough for them.

I just had a revelation though. I have an impecable memory. Like, seriously, there aren't too many details I forget but I just sat and racked my brain trying to think of gifts I got as a child. I literally cannot recall one. Not a single one! I remember the Christmas before I got married my parents got us laptops but I seriously cannot remember one single gift I got as a kid. I hate to admit it because I know my parents worked so very hard to provide gifts for us but the truth is, I only remember the memories.

I know, it sounds like I am just trying to prove a point that I made in a previous blog (family matters most at the holidays, not gifts) but I promise you I only remember memories made around the kitchen table playing games like Bolderdash, Trivial Pursuit, and Taboo. I remember every year hearing a small whisper talking over whoever read the Christmas story and looking over only to see my grandmother quoting the entire story along with my dad or grandfather, totally by memory. I remember when I was really little, running like crazy through my Granny's house with my cousins, laughing our heads off and my one cousin who always peed in her pants when we got to laughing really hard.

Then there was the year when it was strange to feel the child like excitement all over again because I had a son to share the morning with. He wore red pajamas and had the cutest little tummy ever. I remember the first Christmas my grandfather was gone and the year my uncle was in Iraq. I remember last year, like it was yesterday. Our first Christmas just us four Hoods. We did only what we wanted to do. It was peaceful and full and fun.

Memories are the gifts that keep giving-giving me laughter, smiles and assurance that when I take the difficult stand to emphasize Christ (which is totally minimized by society these days) and do away with the stress of excess I am ABSOLUTELY doing the RIGHT thing. I know ten years from now I won't remember what's under the tree, but I will treasure who sat around it.

How many child gifts can you remember? Do you remember more memories than gifts?

Thanksgiving 2011

This Thanksgiving was my favorite Thanksgiving EVER. We made it a priority to do family, family and more family. My parents came in on Wednesday, I made dinner (which turned out great, sigh of relief), and then Thursday we headed to Belleview to my dad's side of the family to eat and spend the day.

There were a whopping 50 people in attendance-thank God for a massive bounce house, HUGE front porch and acres of flat, wide open, grassy fields for the kids to run absolutely wild. The day was so full! Not full of busy or stress but full of laughter, loved ones and the kind of fellowship that makes your heart fall deeper in love with your family. We all brought a dish or two and sat at long covered tabled on my aunt and uncles front porch (yes, it's that big). The kids had an absolute blast! The ran, jumped and slid a million times again in the field and on the bounce house. If your weather permits one I would strongly suggest renting one for large family gatherings and of course if your property allows space for one.

Wednesday night we put up the tree, with the help of my mom. My dad sat and let us know of every bare spot and Mario took pictures. She turned out so pretty! Cola has de-ornamented the tree several times and shattered one ornament by tossing it on the tile floor. I guess that's just all a part of it? Dalen got the honors of putting the angel on the top.

All in all it was a great few days! It is still strange to me though. To look around and see my cousins who I used to run around in the rain in my panties with, now mothers and wives and working full time. It's also probably the first time I looked around at my family of great aunts and uncles and grandparents and even parents and see their age. It's increasing by the day. It hit me this year they won't be here forever. Which one of us will open the door of our home when they are gone? Very strange feeling but I felt it heavy and deep within. For now I am just thankful we had another year with them.

Life

I've been overwhelmed of the feelings I had a few years ago when I took a job in retail so that we could have extra cash for gifts, for Christmas. I was working more than I was spending time with my family which is what holidays are all about and I said I would never do it again. Every year, this time of year, when traffic seems to pick up and Thanksgiving is overlooked and black Friday ads are more important than ANYTHING it seems a lurking heaviness comes in my life and won't leave.

You can't escape society. You just can't. But I hate how what life is all about, is not what life is all about-if that makes sense. I understand we all have different priorities because we all have different lives but seriously how important is the newest toy, the greatest gift, that second job? What are we teaching our children about our priorities? When we are willing to stand in line longer than we are willing to sit and do a craft with our kids where is our heart, really?

And to be honest, I won't stop here.

Of course the holidays are very tempting to get overwhelmed, too busy, booked with parties and feel as though you have to attend the things you have no interest in but really I think it's to the point where it happens all year!

What is life all about? REALLY! WHAT IS IT REALLY ABOUT?

I just found a Pinterest pin which included tips on how to be a successful anorexic. REALLY? These tips (if really completed by someone) would literally consume one's life! So, really, is life seriously about how skinny one can be? I don't think there is anything wrong with buying a new toy or splurging here and there on your kids around the holidays but when it consumes your life?? How far are we going to go people?

I think that's called idolatry. When something becomes more important more than anything and even God that is an idol.

My heart just gets sad this time of year. I remember waiting for the Christmas stuff to get put out and now it's like Halloween stuff and Christmas are out together and Thanksgiving....we might as well just take it off the calendar because what does it really matter anymore??

I just want to be cautious of keeping my priorities in line. I'll never get this moment back-EVER and you will never get this Thanksgiving or Christmas back either so what is most important this holiday season?

Dalen's Day

Today was my parent co-op day with Dalen's school. I love going into his classroom and seeing him in a classroom setting and how he interacts with others and works on things that we don't typically work on at home. It's really entertaining. This week was a great week to go considering they have done something called Pilgrim week. They have made everything from indian jewlery to pilgrim snacks. These days also give me plenty of funny stories.

So I finally get to meet the infamous W, who stole Dalen's first girlfriend L. One day Dalen and W are best friends and the next they are not so friendly. W REALLY clung close to me....so close I had to give him a friendly "could ya scoot back a tad kid??" Here is how our first conversation went.

W: Hey my name is Wee-Wum
Me: Oh, hey William.
W: What's her name?
Me: Cola
W: Coe-wah?
Me: yes
W: Who picked that name?
Me: me
W: oh, yoooow weiwd.
thought: possibly.

I got to get to know Dalen's new girlfriend, Sofia. She is super cute and sweet. She did agree that she was in fact Dalen's girlfriend.

One of Dalen's teachers is older. Probably in her mid 60s. Who knows how she keeps up with 20 toddlers! You can tell she is a total busy bee. She helped the kids do crafts without ever looking up. It was hilarious! She kept calling all of the kids the wrong names. I guess she didn't know their voices as well as she thought. At one point one kid told me he peed in his refrigerator at home and I didn't hold back and let him know that was disgusting. Without looking up she said umm Dalen let's not talk about things that would make an adults stomach turn and Dalen said but Mrs. K...(I'm sure he was going to let her know it wasn't him who told the story) and she totally cut him off and said let move on now. She did this like three times to different kids. I think they gave up trying to correct her.

Another kid had to let me know after I sat down on the rug for circle time that he finds snot on it all the time. WAHOO!

It really is amazing how much these little kids know and retain. It blows my mind! This co-op day was a really good day and I enjoyed it thoroughly.