Umm, defriend!

I totally realize that if I were to tell you how annoyed I am at all of the complaints I read on FB and see on Twitter I would be just another guilty complainer. So, I will try to prove a point without complaining.

Obviously, I am guilty of complaining, I wrote about it a few posts back. It got pretty bad and just listening to myself was annoying. But honestly, I have NEVER in my life seen or heard more continuous complaining in my life! I am talking about day after day, post after post, every pain, disappointment, relationship problem posted for the entire world to read. No, I do not mind the occaisonal, "I need prayer, my back is killing me" post or even "the kids are driving me madd"-it keeps you real- but honestly I am about to contact the DSM to see if there is a disorder called Compulsive Complaining.

Because I noticed this problem in my own life, I have BEEN amazed at how many things you can find that just tickle you happy if you are attentive to your life. Seriously, there are SOOOO many things, small, unimportant things that I LOVE about this place called earth and yes, of course there are things that I despise but I just don't wish to meditate upon them day in and out for weeks at a time.

For those of you who are guilty of complaining and say, "So glad for you, Megan! Glad your life is THAT perfect that you can refrain from complaining" it has nothing to do with a perfect life and everything to do with the practice of self-control. Of course, I would love to vent about the terrible nights sleep I got two weeks back, or that every morning I wake up to neck and/or back pain or my old car or you name it...but COME ON PEOPLE! If you are breathing give some praise every now and again.

Just in case you wonder what ridiculous things I find myself so thankful for here are a few....

I am so thankful for to-go cup lids. I love them because they say Coke and Diet and I always punch Coke for Cola and Diet for Dalen so I can keep them seperate.

I love turning down our curvy street, slowly, because there is a walking trail and I get to see little babies pushed in their strollers and cute dogs being walked with wagging tails.

The fact that my back windows roll down and up is such a blessing. Its Cola's daily treat to stick her little fingers through the small cracks and feel the wind after dropping Dad and Dalen off at work and school.

I love that I've found so many FREE things to do with my kids like checking out library books, playing at Chik-fil-A playground or the indoor playground at the mall.

Super stoked I finally got a smart phone and it was FREE!

See, it's that easy.

And I must just end with this....do not justify your complaining with praise after. People who complain EVERYDAY and then follow the complaint by "oh, but God is so good" or "I know God will heal me" seriously it doesn't make it any better.

I've found a solution to toxic complaining....DEFRIEND!

Debt

This month is one of those months every young couple (don't let me know if I'm wrong, I'd like to think I am not alone) experiences. Unexpected bills hit you from every angle and messes up the budget you have tried so hard to master. And what other month would be better than, December? I must say I am really glad I don't have the added stress of feeling obligated to give my kids the entire world on Christmas Day.

Tonight, Mario and I cooked together in the kitchen. Our meals haven't been experimental recipes found on Pinterest this week but rather bland and casual as we try to cut back on everything we can. But this morning I found a frozen pack of pork chops and we whipped up an awesome dinner! Cajun fried pork chops! YUM!

We cooked in silence except for the nice voice of John Meyer humming in the background from Mario's phone. Like usual we sat the table, all of our bright red plates full of a great meal we prepared. We joined hands to pray and with hearts of thanks there was a moment of an overwhelming sense of peace that everything will be ok. My husband led the prayer and thanked God that "our love for one another will never be in debt".

It was with that line I realized my heart was full. My hands may look empty but my heart is full. And with that thanks and a Christmas candle lit in the center of the table we ate and laughed as if all was well in our life and then I realized, it was. All was/is well.

The money we have lost or have yet to discover is nothing that hard work can't reproduce but the love we have for one another is absolutely priceless and without it we would feel the pain of debt in our heart not just in our pockets.

Laying Things To Rest

I have found it so easy to become depressed during the Christmas holidays; it's cold outside, dark early and the ending of another year is tying up lose ends.

The end of every year I find myself reflecting upon the memories - good and bad. And of course, we all begin to think and dream about the year to come. I don't think there's ever been a year where I've said, "I did it all!" or "I accomplished all I wanted or could have!". Every year I find myself somewhat disappointed that I didn't do more, try harder or dream bigger.

This year I can hardly handle the heartache of not being in a house. I feel like our entire life was wrapped around looking, planning, saving, researching and dreaming of what Cola's second birthday would be like in our very own home or what Christmas would be like in our new place. When I start thinking of the end I know the beginning is just around the corner. 2012 will be here before we know it. Part of me just wants to lay things to rest. Stop hoping and believing for these big things to happen for our family and just dream differently.

But I am realizing the dream didn't fail, the plan did. The dreamer in us will never die but sometimes we just have to try a different route and plan a different strategy. My nerves become immediately frazzled when I think of starting to save for a house from scratch again. Everything we held on to is now gone - gone to dental work, hospital bills or rent payments.

I'm not sure what our new plan will be or how we can do it better but I don't want the dream to die. The plan may need to be rebirthed but the dream has to live on.

Craziness

Have you ever just looked around and thought, "Wow, this world we live in is just craziness?" Things people do don't make sense, sometimes. *This post is written while laughing, not complaining. So just enjoy my sarcasm.


Like, Target. Can you please tell me why in the world you are already selling bathing suits? It JUST got cold! Not to mention, who wants to think of getting in a bathing suit right around the Holidays...aka excuse to gain a good extra 5 lbs.?

And then there is the let's throw a party extroverts who want to invite you over (totally fine) and then suggest let's do a gift exchange! The most annoying part...they follow it up with oh, but don't buy anything big, just a little $5 something or another. Really, people, what's even the point? So you venture out in traffic (aka the black plague) to hunt a $5 something or another and realize there is absolutely NOTHING decent for a mere $5 and even if there was you can't look THAT cheap so you end up spending $15.

Oh, and I must mention room mothers. I had no idea Dalen's school had room mothers, I'm sure they kept it a secret in fear I would volunteer to be one HAHAHA. Anyways, I get a e-mail from a woman I have never met and whose name I couldn't pronounce if you paid me to asking me (and apparently the rest of the mothers of the class) should we get the teachers a gift (well of course) and would you be willing to chip in and do I have suggestions. How nice! (really) But then I get 15 e-mails in response to her e-mail saying things like "yes" or "sounds great". Uhh, yes, we should get them a gift? Or sounds great for us to chip in....AHH I was so confused and no one ever left a suggestion. So, if you are a room mother, take charge. A little clarity goes a long way.

The "Me" In Megan

Today is one of those days. Everything is going smoothly except for the occasional glitch every family experiences, every morning. But it's one of those days I am totally dreaming of shopping for winter scarves and new boots, getting a much needed manicure, eating a nice quiet lunch with a close friend and then napping with Mario.

I think "Me" is in Megan for a reason. I think of "Me" waaaay too much somedays. I wake up wanting things I know I can't afford and desire to pamper myself with things I don't have time for, in spite of having two children. Sometimes accepting the fact that I can't enjoy my life at my own leisure on most days is still a struggle. Of course, I am totally human - I long to sleep in but I have two alarm clocks called children and unfortunately they do not come equipped with a snooze button. I would love to sit for 15 minutes straight and paint my nails but I typically paint one stroke at a time and in between I am blowing a nose or digging something out of my baby's throat. Sometimes I go to church or the grocery store with a half painted hand. It's better to be half put together than not put together at all??

Sometimes the most beautiful thing about motherhood is that life is no longer about me and sometimes it serves as the greatest challenge. I wish I could say I wake up everyday bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to whip up a homemade breakfast and dress each child in a crisp, clean, freshly ironed outfit that matches perfectly. Unfortunately, some mornings I wake up and don't see Mom I see the "Me" in Megan.

I think every mother has these days. Days where shopping and pampering are a dream and reality is carpool, potty training and possibly a shower. Its tough. Nothing I haven't learned to conquer in time but it's still tough.

My Word

Is anyone else's mailbox overflowing with catalogs and sales ads? Seriously, I don't care you are selling oven mits for $.99 I just want my personalized Christmas cards from friends and family! We got our first one in the mail the other day. I LOVE cards!

Is anyone else bothered by all of the people who see your kids and without asking how they are or what fun things they are doing for Christmas with mom and dad they ask that annoying question, "What do you want for Christmas?" Well, of course that's all they ask, I mean it matters most right?

Yes. Bah Humbug.

I know. I can't picket America. I can't destroy consumerism. I can't impose my thoughts and beliefs upon others but really if you take a minute and evaluate you will see JUST how bad it is! It is BAD out there. Everywhere you turn there are commercials and ads and junk e-mails about stuff, things, toys.

My word right now is, focused. I am bombarded COMPLETELY with the emphasis on gifts but somehow, someway I am managing to stay on track. I'm sorry but I am totally patting myself on the back, cheering my family on and leading my kids right to the manger where we should be. And no, I am going batty or trying to be annoying but I think we all need focus right now.

Parties. Wish Lists. Traveling. Finances. Family. Work. Friends. School parties. It's almost impossible to not be overwhelmed! I thought the way to go was to do 1st things 1st but I am realizing if it's not 1st than it's not important. At some point we have to say no or maybe later or to be honest but my calendar is going to puke if I book another event that isn't being spent with my loved ones.

I feel so right about this. It's not a stand or a statement-it's a lifestyle. One I hope to God goes to my kids and straight to their kids and down to their kids. This is where I want my fingerprint, on generations to come. I want to make a difference and an impact, a radical change starting with my family.

You don't have to have a lot to give a lot. The most valuable thing you can give is time and it doesn't cost a dime.

Kisses

I feel like my heart is exploding with so many emotions and my body with so many feelings. Since late last night I can feel my body fighting off something icky, since yesterday morning my heart has reflected upon our morning sermon by a guest speaker who spoke on self-encouragement. Late this afternoon I finished the book Kisses From Katie which I KNOW I read in perfect timing. It is a book about giving, not about giving something but giving everything. It is a MUST READ. I typically ALWAYS give my books away when I'm done but this one I know I will go back to.

In this season of my life, where I am trying my best to be a great mom and a teacher of all things good I am being intentional about what I read. After seeing this book on my friends blog I knew it would be great to read around the holidays so that I would be encouraged and inspired to stay focused on giving and family. It's a book for EVERYONE-one who is considering adoption, one who wants to know more about the life of a missionary, one who wants to know more about Jesus and the fulfillment of His plans for our lives.

I am pleased to say that since the Friday after Thanksgiving I have checked out about a total of 18 books from the library about Christmas. We have read these by the light of the Christmas tree, snuggled in bed together or on the go and in-between brushing teeth. The Polar Express is Dalen's favorite! We've read ones about there being no snow on the original Christmas and the legend of the candy cane and how what you believe is what you see. Dalen's imagination has soared from the sunny south to the frigid north pole. I love it!

I'm proud to say our tree is lit, and speckled with gorgeous ornaments and topped with an angel with a porcelain face (the entire thing was given to us-tree, ornaments and angel) and it's completely bare underneath. I am even prouder to say my son hasn't even noticed and has only mentioned gifts a few times. I'm telling you, there is power in what you emphasize. Last time he mentioned gifts he added a pogo stick to his wish list. It was in one of the books we read.

My heart is so full and hopeful for the 1st time in a while that I am doing this thing well. This thing we call motherhood, thing we've been blessed with called life. I've stayed encouraged by reflecting upon so many testimonies of what God has done in my life and marriage and family and I am trusting he will do it for others and in us AGAIN and AGAIN.