The OCD Christian

I've been thinking about this post for sometime now. I must admit I never intended to be writing it at 4 a.m. but I can't sleep and the house is quiet-great for thinking.

We have all heard of OCD, Obssessive-Compulsive Disorder, and you may have even seen interventions through therapy on televsion dealing with this anxiety related disorder. The character of OCD manifests itself through repiticious behaviors due to the invasive thoughts of anxiety related fears. Individuals who struggle to ward off these nagging thoughts or compulsions typically result in acting out nervous behaviors in hopes of decreasing anxiety. These habitual acts become routine in the lives of the affected.

I have hoarded thoughts of this issue for some time now and find myself guilty of being an OCD Christian at times. Unfortunately, at 26, there are many areas of my spirituality I am just taking ownership of. I was raised in an amazing, Godly home and attended the same church for nearly two decades. My parents are brilliant individuals of excellence who were wonderful displays of Godly Christians. My parents showed me what it looked like to be a Christian yet I feel a lot of what the church should have taught me about knowing what the actions meant were neglected. I feel a major weakness in the church I attended was that I was never taught what to believe but rather told what I believed. There is a MAJOR difference.

When you are told what you believe you find youself in ritualistic living on a daily basis. Everything you do is frantically built around perfecting a list of dos and don'ts. When you take ownership of your own spirituality and search the heart of God through intentional relationship you discover a man you never knew existed because for so long legalistic leaders were busy sheilding his true character with their egostistical opinions and interpretations rather than his perfect truth.

I remember knowing many other classmates in high school who appeared to hate God and love sin, yet they obtained more Biblical knowledge than I probably could today. They knew the Bible, scripture references, foundations of faith while I justified my Christianity on the grounds of holy indulgances and proud self-restraints. Dos and don'ts are not enough.

I will no longer restrain from exploring the whole truth of God. We are all ultimately responsible for our own spirituality and until we take ownership of our faith we never amount to anything more than an OCD Christian.