The Life of Me

Where do I begin?? Cola is climbing out of her crib every hour of the night, Dalen is loving school, Mario is working harder than ever and I'm still horrible at cleaning and thanking God for easy crock pot recipes that my family actually enjoys.

We just finished a trip to Tennessee to see our family and friends. Dalen had his first "sleepover" with his cousin and grandmother (and sister, kind of) and I have to mention my (teacher) mother had the night complete with picture guessing games, glow in the dark masks, bubble baths, and I will never forget when she brought out the 1980s CD player, covered in dust from the garage and played songs off of a CD call 50 Silly Songs. Can I just sum it up and say I was wishing it was more like 5 Silly Songs?? hahahaha Dalen must have been thinking the same thing because after about 1 1/2 songs he said, "Mom Mom can you PUH-LEASE turn that off its making me CRAZY?!"

My college roommate had her baby while I was home. I always love when friends have babies! I got to see so many friends and share a lot of laughs, hopes and MEALS. It was a phenomenal trip. Not too long, not too short. I was able to squeeze everything and everyone in. The kids also enjoyed a trip to Chuck E Cheese and a pre-birthday party to celebrate Dalen's 4th birthday (which is on the 19th).

Today Dalen learned no one lives forever and informed us his friend at school had a grandparent to die. I found myself very thankful again my kids have grandparents, super involved ones and that I still have 3 out of the 4 of mine-WHAT A RARITY, WHAT A BLESSING!

I'll never forget one moment I exchanged with my grandmother this trip. She asked me if I was ready to go home to Mario and I said, "YES! I haven't seen him in 5 days!" In no more than what seemed like I second I had calculated it had been over a thousand since she's seen my grandfather. So sad, but oh, so true. My husband and I do life together, sometimes travel apart, share laughs, exchange tears and fight until we are laughing again and in that moment I let my mind go far enough to think of what life could be without him. I concluded I would have no life in me. Right now, I find myself living, breathing, waking up everyday to make his dreams possible, my kids content and myself fulfilled. If they weren't here what would I be without them? It was really for the most part unimaginable!

I am not sure why I didn't think of the fact that I was flying home on 9/11 but I had a GREAT friend remind me :) Thanks A! lol
I arrived at the airport to an eerily quiet gate. It was a somber experience and I felt the need to not let me children off too far. We boarded the plane and after discovering my daughter colored all over the airplane window but I just held her tightly with my right arm and my left around my son. I am not an emotional person and it bothers me when people re-grieve losses every anniversary but 9/11 was very real to me on that plane. My son straddled my lap and fell fast asleep on my chest and my daughter straddled my knees and slept on his back. I was drenched in sweat and contemplated asking for a refund for the seat my son never even used. :)

I find myself reflecting more, appreciating the greater things in life and pondering memories on a deeper scale because tomorrow it's the only tangible thing we will have left of today. And I am teary at this point of this blog because I never thought that I could have so little and I feel like I have so much-two great parents, a husband I would NEVER trade or wish away, the prettiest kids in the world, two rockstar sissies and loyal friends I love so much.

What is the life of you??