The ultimate trainer

Before you have children you never think of having to train an individual to go to bed and STAY there or sit in a chair, the right way. You probably don't think of having to teach your children that this is MY space while that over there is YOURS. Parenting has thrown me for some loops.

I didn't do so well at teaching my son boundaries and to play independently but I am doing a great job with C. I know there are many controversial arguments (which I don't understand) about blanket training but I started this with Cola the other day and it's working beautifully. I use it a couple times a day when I am working on laundry (she loves to unfold what I've JUST folded) or cooking in the kitchen with a hot stove (to prevent injury) or when I need some personal space.

I can't even count how many times I've sat at a table with other mothers and we all complain about how we haven't even showered in the bathroom alone in a month or used the restroom without an audience or how we can't even breath without a child right in our face. The longer I am a parent I realize those conversations reveal a lot about myself, others and the quality of control we have in our homes. The fact your kids are staring while you are peeing has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the lack of control you have over the situation.

I have learned this the hard way. Going to the restroom in private is not a privilege it is a RIGHT that I am now exercising every time I have to go. My children are not allowed in the restroom with me and blanket training has helped with this too. When my son is at school I leave Cola on the blanket with a few toys and tell her not to move. This assures me while I am in the bathroom for a few minutes she is with safe toys that will entertain her and that she knows her boundaries do not go beyond the borders of the blanket. This assures me she won't get into anything dangerous or get hurt.

Blanket training is such a great way to establish independence and boundaries and self-control. I use a pretty big blanket so my child will in no way see it as a form of punishment. The big blanket gives her plenty of space to play freely yet also have clear boundaries. Every child needs to learn independence and its tough. Of course some days there are tears and but for the most part my daughter does great at sitting and playing. And of course I get a lot done.

I have learned quickly that every time she has to spend some moments on the blanket I need to make sure and give her tons of praise and follow up the blanket time with face to face interaction. I can totally see this method backfiring if abused. You also to start with a few minutes and work your way up to a nice period of time that's age appropriate. For example I know better than to expect my 18 month old to sit for an hour but 15-20 minutes is totally doable.

Another area I now have complete control over is where my kids sleep. Cola was climbing out of her crib all night, every night. Now that she has a little toddler bed, if she gets out of it even if its 30 times a night (she's been close!) I take her straight back to her bed and say bedtime very sternly and leave. If she keeps getting up I take her right back. We are starting to see results with this too. Do I feel like getting up at 3 am to do this up a flight of stairs 20 times a night?? Absolutely not but I also don't feel like getting kicked a million times a night and thrown out of my OWN bed. Most of us parents aren't as helpless as we think we are just too lazy to show who is boss. And sometimes that means you have to get up 20 times a night and take your child back to bed. When you don't you might as well blow the party party horn and toss the confetti in honor of the control your child has just taken. Needless to say, the only time this house is gonna be seeing confetti is during a birthday!