May I revert back to high school for a moment??

Mario and I don't have cable but every chance I get I like to catch up on a few shows by watching them online. Ok, can I just say that if I were Heidi's mom, Spencer's face would black and blue? Seriously, what does Heidi see in him. Any guy that treated my family as horribly as he treats her and her family, would be beat to death.
This blog is so high school....lol....but seriously! I couldn't believe the way he spoke to her mom! Heidi needs to kick him to the curb once and for all!

Fireproof Date Night

Friday was a night Mario and I had been looking foward to for a long time. It was the release of the Fireproof movie. We are strong supporters of any Christian movie and this one was well worth the support. It was so funny yet serious. It really portrayed how hard marriage can be and how the fix isn't always so fun or easy. Of course the best part was seeing how a marriage will never be complete or whole without the love of God first.
We sent Dalen off to First Baptist for what they call Parent's Night Out. You can leave your kid there from 6-10 for $7. I have been so impressed by First Baptist and their ministries. Of course, Dalen attends their Parent's Day Out too. They are the first church I have see who truly does outreach the way God would want us to. Their outreach has no limitations. You don't have to attend their church to participate or take advantage of what their church is allowing families to do. I am really glad we have found this church even though we don't attend.
It had been a while since Mario and I sent Dalen off so we could go out. I mean we have not been out in FOREVER, just us. It made me realize how unaware we are of it too. Everytime we send Dalen off to a sitters its for work or so we can do this or that, but its always something we are obligated to do. We had a great time and it was fun to go to a movie with other believers. I totally recommend this movie.

Good Morning?

I had to go to Walgreens this morning. Today I realized Dalen may not be a morning person. He was making this face to every shopper we passed. After several seconds of holding it as long as he could he would relax his face and pant and then die laughing along with the passersby.
Recently, Dalen developed a new smile. One so big his eyeballs disappear and nose scrunches up. I am hoping this "good morning" expression isn't the one he decides to share over his new smile.

Kermit

Here is Dalen in one of his new outfits from Gran, that he got at his birthday party. I thought he looked super cute in it!

Quiet Reflections of a vision fulfilled

The wind that furiously barged in the small crack of my window, left no doubts that fall was creeping in. The long and windy road led me to heartache as I allowed myself to finally miss him. It was the first time my heart was allowed to miss him. To grieve his presence that was no longer near. Every sharp curve my tires embraced with snug hugs making it feel as though I was accelerating every time the road winded really sharp. Above me green leaves smothered the skyline with a drooping canopy of weakening limbs. The lushis greens would soon be fading orange and yellow as fall became dominant.

I missed him. With all that was within me. My child, turning one in a day, and all I could wish for was for him to be there. If only he could have held on a few more days. My engine grew silent, the wind calmed and my car grew intensly warm. Soft and irritable whines came from the back seat. After removing my son from his carseat we strolled along the road. Downhill we soared, the wind against us.

Looking aimlessly, a dazed vision became fully focused. This must have been what he envisioned. So long ago Eagle's Nest was just a grassy field interrupted with a few carved dirt roads and dominated by one large hill. No houses, no prospective buyers, just an empty vision. But today that vision was fulfilled. Black asphalt gleemed as the sun shone down heavy. Perfect landscape encircled most mailboxes and vibrant growing grass blanketed every front yard. The hill was now speckled with homes that peeked through abandoned tree limbs.

And there in its central part, his prize. A man made pond. A gazeebo had been strategically placed northwest and not far from it a swing. Too curious I refrained from getting too close to see if any fish still swimmed in the water. Though he was far away his vision was so alive. All around me, was all he had desired. Not forgotten, but very much so alive, fulfilled.

My little pony

Dalen on JoJo's back. Please check out her tongue...lol
Her tongue..its so hilarious!

My aunt and uncle came in town to see my grandmother and for Dalen's party. We absolutely love their company. They are so much fun and Dalen adores them and their daughter, JoJo...a 120 pound bloddhound. They became best friends this weekend and Dalen literally got a little too close for comfort as he began riding on her back! He would hold on to her super long ears for security. It was just hilarious. And of course, if you know me you know I am a dog lover....I am so glad Dalen isn't afraid of dogs.

Dalen's walking!!!!

The day before Dalen's birthday he randomly took 3 steps in a row at my grandmother's house. It was perfect timing being that my mom, sister, aunt, uncle, grandmother, and brother-in-law were all there to see it. I hated Mario wasn't there but he was helping with a bible study. The next morning he took steps towards him though. Since then, he has been walking a lot! We are so excited! Of course, the next day was his birthday and the next was his party so he had an eventful week and weekend.

Check out the video...you can definately tell he is the center of attention. The loudest scream is my mom...lol.

Worth A Tombstone

Worth A Tombstone

There is something looming over me in my thoughts and I figure that's what blogs are for, right? The topic of life and death is indoubtebly a sensitive one. Especially, when you are referring to the death of a child. Though the topic is sensitive, after much contemplation I would like to share my passionate thoughts about babies who never made it past the womb.

Not long ago I requested prayer for my cousin who was expecting. The baby's heart wasn't beating enough causing a decrease in circulation, resulting in no development in the last few weeks. The doctor gave the baby no hope and suggested to proceed with a D & C. My cousin chose not to do this because the heart was still beating. I am SO proud of that decision. She refused a D & C in faith that God would perform a miracle in the body of her baby. Today after being told there was no heartbeat, she received this news knowing that this baby's life ended on its own not at the mercy of a doctor's equipment or a choice she made.

Living in a small town where whispers of a possible abortion clinic may be in the making, causes peope to protest and become outraged I see people realizing the value of human life. Hearing of people voting for one canidate over another because of their prolife beliefs lets me know that people want to protect the innocent and a baby's life is valuable! But these same people that stand up for human life are the same ones I see overlooking these greiving parents who have miscarried. We must not forget the grief they feel and the wonderment they struggle with. We must remember that just because miscarrying is "common", it doesn't minimize the loss. Moms and Dads who have lost small lives with great impact, must be comforted and consoled and we must focused this comfort and consolation on the life that was lost. I say that because I often hear people tell moms who have experienced this oh don't worry you will get pregnant again or you are just lucky you have other kids! I mean seriously, how distorted is that view of death!? It's not about a pregnancy in the future or even the possibility at the time it's about the loss. Of course, you do grief in hopes that one day God can bless that person again but we should not minimize the grief of the present hoping to supress these emotions. Mourning is a natural thing.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing in this world like the bond you share with a baby in your womb. Think about it. That's the closest you will ever be to that baby. They go everywhere with you. You feel every move they make. They cause you the most pain ever imaginable but its the most forgiveable pain because of the joy they bring. You grow as they grow and eventually your bodies are molded together. You dream big for that baby and reconstruct a future to accommodate that baby. When you think of it for what it is you have to realize that losing a baby before you birthed it is the same. Their life is just as valuable as ours.

If you protest abortion I asume you believe in the value of these lives. The next time you hear of a loss due to a miscarriage remember that value. Comfort families the way you would anyone else. I often hear people speak of babies in such a way that makes them above every other creature yet when their souls become cradled in glory because of a miscarriage there is no funeral, obituary, tombstone and families aren't blessed with cooked meals during this time of loss. My question is still remaining. Why?

Musical Madness

Today was my first day at work trying to get Dalen to nap. Literally, I almost lost my mind. There are no doors to the room he naps in. Therefore, his ear piercing screams filled the whole store and my eardrums. Aunt Mary got him a lullaby cd that has helped a lot. But guess what....IT WAS AT HOME! Immediately, I began to surf the net for soft tunes to help seranade baby Dalen to sleepytown. Every single one of them had to be downloaded or paid for. I had the bright idea of searching Myspace music but I got no easy listening after typing in lullaby.

At this point I was ready to scream but God allowed me to stay calm...literally. For some odd reason I thought of Josh Groban...whom I absolutely loathe....and typed his name into the Myspace music search. Finally his page pulls up and begans to softly whisper his annoying and overwhelming vibratto. After, one song my head was spinning from focusing so closely to how many times his voice would break into ripples of notes held forever. I was on the verge of having a dizzy spell. Hurridly, I searched Kenny G. The man I have forever made fun of my mom for loving. His page had one song! ONE SONG! And there was a woman singing to his music. I was so unfocused on work because she was singing in another language all I could do was try to decipher what language. My mind was bouncing back and forth from french to spanish...yes that is how diverse her accent was.

After storming out of the room and to the storefront, I sat down to finish working as Dalen's screams echoed from the back jolting to the innermost parts of my ear. After nearly an hour, finally peace. What a trial!

Don't Daddys

I have noticed a little something that society contributes to don't daddys (daddys that don't do things because they think only the mom should). After having Dalen, I was really blessed to realize that my husband does a lot that other dad's don't. After being asked over and over if Mario changes dirty diapers or if he gets up with Dalen in the night it became evident people wondered these things because their husbands don't. If you are responsible enough to get your wife pregnant you should be responsible enough to change diapers, roll out of bed at 3 pm for middle of the night feeds and so on and so forth.

I am so sick of society not expecting men to do these things. I think it contributes a lot to their mindset. For instance, there are so many restaraunts that don't have a diaper changer in the men's bathroom which leaves the women to change their kids every chance they get to go out. All paperwork I had to sign when admitted to the hospital concerning Dalen had to have my signature only and not the dad's. I mean for crying out loud the nursery at my own church will only allow mom's working in the nursery to change diapers not dads. Don't get me wrong we have a wonderful nursery and wonderful staff but I mean seriously if the kid is wearing a clean diaper and they are cleaned properly who gives a care who changes them.

Just a little insight on the wonderful society we live in. Maybe men don't do these things because no one expects them to. And just for the record the only thing my husband hasn't done for Dalen is breastfeed....for obvious reasons. So here is to all of the respectable men who take great care of their kids and to all of those who don't....I'll just say no comment.

Ready Or Not

So ready or not on Friday I will have a one year old. It's crazy. Here are a few pics of Dalen when he was first born and one of my all time favorites of him at a few months old.
My belly at 32 weeks.
Dalen fresh out of my belly.
Me holding Dalen for the first time.
Dalen holding my finger.
Dalen poking his head through the carseat cover.

Strawberry Shortcake

Here is Olivia with Jonathan. It was her first visit to the park. Meredith sent me a picture text. Meredith and Jonathan are doing awesome! Thank you for your continued prayers on their behalf. Many doors have opened up and Meredith has been able to share her testimony with many people. We are so proud of them both for making it through such a traumatic situation and giving God the praise he deserves. Jonathan was able to speak at our Fresh Fire revival on Sunday night. He did great and it is evident he will make a great pastor someday.

Your On Your Own

Well, its official. There is not one single medicine out there we have tried that will clear up Dalen's allergies. Finally, I got so sick of dealing with a snot nosed wheezing baby I went into the pediatricians office and nicely demanded the last thing I knew could possibly help....a breathing treatment machine. It's the only thing that worked for Mario as a kid and so in high hopes they would say yes I politley told the doctor I would not be coming back again for another medicine that doesn't work. So I got my wish. Dalen is now on 2 breathing treatments a day and I haven't noticed much improvement yet but he said it could take up to 2 weeks. Its not what any parent wants to have to do but if it works I will be more than happy to deal with the inconvienance.

We also discussed Dalen's sleeping issues. I mean good greif he's going to be 1 on Friday!!! It's about time he sleeps all night. Here is what he told me to do.

1. An hour before bedtime start a wind down period. (dim lights, music, a bath, maybe a story)
Also, feed him a last meal so that he doesn't get hungry in the night.
2. When this hour is over leave Dalen in his crib crying. When I asked well what if he cries for 2 hours!? The doctor said you leave him as long as it takes....YES! Finally a doctors permission to not feel guilty about leaving him crying.
3. When he wakes up in the night check on him. Do not talk to him, pick him up or turn bright lights on. Just make sure he's ok and if his diaper needs to be changed change it in his crib so that you avoid picking him up. This let's Dalen know I am there but that I will not pick him up or feed him.
4. Eventually he will sleep all night...
There's the picture of me trying this technique for naptime. He pitched such a fit he squirmed right out of his blue jeans!!! I am going to treasure this picture forever. I love it. He cried for 45 minutes and they was snoring away. Last night was his first night not crying in the crib. He fell asleep within 3 minutes and didn't wake again until morning! So I have finally found something that works!!! PRAISE GOD!!! I know this probably sounds like a cruel technique but if you are thinking that you either number one don't have kids or you number two have kids that are heavenly beings who sleep all night and you need to thank God everyday for such a blessing!

Reminding

Today I am just reminding myself that tomorrow, today may not be as significant as I'm feeling it is.

Yearbook Yourself

1950
1954
1960
1984-the year i was born!
2000- And here you have it ladies and gents....the whole reason I have not gotten bangs....I would look absolutely rediculous!

I'm A Fixer

If something is broken, if someone is hurting, when people are sick I ask the question often, "What can I do to fix this?" The answer most of the time is nothing. I love my husband more than anyone. He is the head of my house, my spiritual leader, my lover, my bestfriend and the father of my child. Since December our family has experienced death, sickness, financial struggles, car trouble, attack from coworkers and friends. Those are just to name a few...last night I recieved a powerful message spoken by Mark Williams, my all time favorite preacher. He reminded our church, which is in revival, that it is not by might nor by power but by my spirit says the Lord. In other words what I can't do God can. I need to be totally reliant on him to open a place in ministry for my husband. I need trust him with needs. I need rest assured that if he can bring the dead to life he can fix a car. Lastly, I need to know we don't wrestle with flesh and blood. Please pray for our family that is earnestly praying for many braekthroughs in our household.

Also, please pray for my cousin who recieved a bad report from the doctor. Her baby has little development and a faint heartbeat. They have sent her home to miscarry. There is still a heartbeat and I declare there is still hope! Please pray for her.

Please pray for my friend's grandfather who just received word he has prostate and bladder cancer. This is a small problem to God. In fact it isn't even a problem for him its just another opportunity to show he is still a healer.

Peace and love to all who can uplift these needs in prayer.

Just what I needed...

The last few months have been so busy with so many things. I have felt the need to be totally devoted to my family through sickness and death. Therefore, I haven't hung out with girlfriends in what seems like FOREVER! My friend Andrea came in town with her little dog. She spent the weekend with us while her husband was off hunting. It was exactly what I had been needing. We went out with a bunch of friends on Friday. I was surprised by Damaris coming back in town and glad I got to spend time with her. Here are some pics.

Andrea and I at Mellow Mushroom.
Me and my gal pals.
Dalen with Coty. They didn't leave each others side the whole weekend.
Coty kissing Dalen...on the lips.
Coty....so adorable.

Stalker Mom

Well folks, I did it. I found a parent's day out program for Dalen. My cousin is in charge of it and I must say she heads up an over the top program! Dalen gets to go to music class, story time, playground, lunch and naptime. Tuesday was his first day and I dropped him off at his room. When I peeked back in through the window he was sitting there looking at me with his lip curled out just a squawling. HE NEVER CRIES when I leave him. I left there for a few minutes and decided to be a little stalker and peek again. He was laughing a playing fine. Dalen on his way to school.
Dalen doing pilates...haha.
Dalen playing with cousin John his very best buddy.
My stalker view from the window. You can barely see his chubby cheeks between the teacher and blond headed kid.

I am told Dalen did great. He really enjoyed a ride in what they call the bye bye buggy. Its a HUGE stroller that seats 6 kids.

Life, Death and Love

Many of you know I lost my first grandparent last week. I was richly blessed with the privledge of knowing every grandparent and nearly every great grandparents. My mom's father died after a fall that caused him to spiral into one ailment after another eventually taking him on to Heaven. I LOVE my grandparents. They are faithful, loving great people. Here are a few pictures of Dalen and I on the morning of the funeral.

This is the thing that kept me laughing and not crying.
Dalen patiently waiting while I got his first suit perfectly ironed.
Me on my way.
Dalen all dressed up to say bye bye to Great Papa.
Me and the one I love.

Dalen was sent to a sitters after waving bye bye one last time to Papa. I figured I better send him on his way before he made his way into the casket with Papa. He is so active these days. Needless to say, what a summer it has been for our family.