I get up at 3:15 in the middle of the night and when I pull up to Belk I see lines of people at our 3 entrances waiting in the freezing cold to be one of the 1st 250 customers to get a lousy $5 gift card. There were moms with their little babies bundled up in the freezing cold. I am sorry if you were one of those moms but you are totally stupid if you were. You are getting you kids out in the middle of the night for $5 off a purchase. Come on now and pray for a little common sense.
Anyway, I love it when its busy because time just flies by but here are a few scenarios of the day.
1. Customer: Does this coupon work on this, this, this, or that?
My Mind: Can you read? What does the coupon say?
My Audible Voice: Are your purchases early bird specials, red dots or final clearance items?
Customer: Oh well I don't know.
My Mind: You must really can't read! If you really cared about the discount you would read the sign.
My Audible Voice: Well lets just get you rung up and see. (I ring their items in and OF COURSE they don't trust that the register is right.)
Customer: Oh well that was supposed to be 50% off and that sounds really high and then I get an extra 15% percent off with my coupon.
My Mind: WOW! You can read! But isn't it funny how you can read something is 50% off BUT you totally miss the MASSIVE sign above the discount that says EARLY BIRD SPECIAL (which excludes an extra 15% off).
My Audible Voice: Oh I'm sorry you didn't read the fine print on the coupon I can just void the sale for you.
Customer: OH NO! I still want the items!
My Mind: You conniving person! Trying to see if I would mark your items down even more....AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!
*Tip: Read the coupon.....the WHOLE thing. Fine print included! Then when you see a discount sign read the WHOLE thing.
Scenario #2
I must add this happened at the time when the line was the longest and customer was the loudest.
Customer: Well they surely made a mistake by putting you in the children's department.
My Mind: Yea it surely was b-c I am about to knock your kids upside the head if they don't calm down and quit knocking stuff off of the racks that I have to go pick up!! GRRR!!!!
My Audible Voice: Why do you say that
Customer: Well you're expecting! Expectant mothers shouldn't be put in the children's because I am sure you just blow your check on baby stuff!
My Audible Voice: Oh well, if I were expecting that MIGHT HAVE been a problem but I NOT!
My Mind: Don't punch her, don't punch her!!!
Customer: Oh you aren't!!?? Well, I thought you were.
My Audible Voice: Nope, Just fat.
*An eerie silence breaks out all over the line and all eyes are on.....ME! Great. What a GREAT day. Why couldn't they look at the idiot who said something you NEVER say to a woman?
TIP: NEVER, NEVER say a woman is expecting to her face. No matter how sure you are....you just never know.
Scenario #3
*I was working with a lady who looks no younger than 79. Her name is Nancy and I hear she isn't a morning person. I'll let you decide from the next scenario.
Customer:Why did the store hand out a coupon that excludes so many items?
Nancy: says nothing and her blood is boiling I can tell
Customer: I didn't know it excluded so many things.
Nancy: Well, its not my fault that you can't read the fine print.
My mind: TELL 'EM NANCY!!! WAHOO!!!
My face: I look at Nancy like you are gonna pay for that one
Nancy: (Look at the 2 lines of about 12 people she says out loud....Any1 stupid enough to be out shopping this early doesn't deserve customer service or common courtesy.
My Mind: HOLLA!!! LOL!
All in all it was a good day- besides feeling big as a cow, being exhausted and working with a temperamental senior citizen...I'd say it was great.
2 comments:
Unbelievable.... really unbelievable....
Ha Ha!! You're so funny. Braver than me for working black Friday! Props!
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