Another typical day in the life of Megan Hood

I barely slept last night, thanks to the newest cold Cola has contracted. She has been crooping since Saturday and after being blown off by my sucky pediatrician's office for two days I call first thing this morning and demand that if they don't have time they will make time to see my child. Just as I got the baby to sleep, Dalen wakes up. Mario watches over Dalen after the baby is woken up by his loud stomping and I feed the baby, burp the baby and put her back down and then realize it's time for her appointment. I sit at the doctor's office for hours LITERALLY to be told, "It's just a common cold with a lot of congestion. There's no cure but care." I honestly felt as though I was listening to a pre-recorded diagnosis coming straight from a robot. I look at the doctor, shake my head and say, "Right." I put the baby in her carrier, head to lunch with a friend and that would be the only positive thing about my day.

I come home hoping for my much needed nap. I find my two Cabbage Patch dolls that were given to me by my great-grandmother laying on the floor without their name tags. You must understand-these dolls are two of the original Cabbage Patch dolls and their tags are the only way of telling they are authentic and original. Dalen had found them in a moving box and ripped the tags off. Wonderful. Dalen refuses to nap and as I am threatening him I feel something really warm spread across my lap. I look down to find that I have just been peed all over by my newborn. Charming. I change her, wipe her down, redress her, bathe myself, re-dress myself and then convince myself we can nap now. I come into the family room only to find Dalen has now stripped my dolls of every piece of clothing and is still refusing to nap. Dalen frantically confesses he has to poop and I get him to the bathroom just in time for him to start pushing right as I pull his pull-up down. Perfect. Mario literally makes Dalen lay down and then Cola screams for a bottle. I make the bottle, burp her, lay her down and she screams. I pick her up, rock her, pat her, console her and she laughs and kicks. Ideal. Once again my wonderful husband steps in puts her to sleep and the next thing I know, after JUST dozing off-my eyelids are being pecked by Dalen who has already woken up. I totally sin and lie to myself saying, "This is just a dream, keep snoozing and it will end soon." After the pecks intensify, I am not convinced.

So I come to the family room where my two year old decides to kick me for absolutely no reason. I turn on the TV and he pleads with me to stop on Oprah's earth day special because they are showing dolphins. Yeah, it was special alright. Special enough to show some crazy people that I am sure aren't PETA friendly slaughtering dolphins. Unfortunately I didn't realize it until Dalen begins to scream and back away from the television. Hopeful. Oh yeah, I've gotta feeling tonight's gonna be another sleepless one. I have now attempted to put my newborn back down to sleep three times and I have failed. I decided her swing may be the trick since what I am doing isn't good enough. Her eyes become heavy and the swing begins to rock and just as the music starts it runs out of batteries and dies. No, I am not making this up. I am really not making this up. That's ok I'll put new ones in but of course, those are packed away right along with everything else I told myself I wouldn't need but have managed to need in the last few days.

So here I am, reflecting upon today's events and I realize everything that has happened isn't abnormal. Every single day if I am not pooped on I am thrown up on and if I am not thrown up on I am snotted on. I always wait for hours at the doctor and they rarely do anything for my children. I hardly ever have the opportunity to nap and I am never well rested. So why is it that today, a day pretty much like every other day I am absolutely about to lose it. I am not PMSing, I am not sick and my hormones have gone back to normal-I think. I am not so sure why some days you conquer through these things and other days you are found sobbing in the middle of a disastrous mess.

Sorry to end this so abruptly but my two year old is begging me to go somewhere with him. I am not sure where we are going but he has two purses on his shoulder and wants me to go. Pray he takes me on vacation or maybe even to get the rest of that nap!