This whole post is going to be dealing with private parts, meanness and things people usually don't mention. So don't say I didn't tell ya so.
I have a basket of tampons and pads under my sink-it's just the most convenient place for them. Have you ever noticed all of the good women products are in the best and bright colors?? Or should I say irresistible colors? I am not sure what has been drawing Dalen to this basket the last few weeks but it's been pretty hilarious. A few weeks ago he pulled out a pad that he had unwrapped and said, "Here Mommy, here's your band aid!" After asking him who told him those were band-aids he responded, "Daddy!" I told Mario we probably shouldn't describe them as band-aids because when they are used he will think I am hurt. So today Dalen pulled out another pad and said, "Here Mommy, here's your diaper!" Mario also told him that. GREAT! So now my son is probably telling his teachers at school I wear band-aids on my crotch, I am not potty trained and I only have one boob (read previous post).
Did anyone see American Idol last night?? Anyone catch the "boob boxer"? Oh my word! HILARIOUS! If you missed it...GOOGLE IT! Dalen surely thought it was hilarious and sat laughing with his mouth open most of the time. Dalen called my dad on commercial break and Dad asked him if he saw the lady shaking her big chest everywhere. Dalen said, "No, Dad! She was shaking her BIG boobs!" Where did he learn the word boob? And why is it such an obsession?
Dalen is just growing more and more curious about human anatomy. He's only two but trust me I know how his mind works, if you don't give him an explanation to everything his curiosity will only grow and you will be left with disastrous results. I got a new nightgown which I typically do not wear but at this point they are just more comfortable. A few nights ago Dalen pulled it up and said, "Hey I got a penis! What you got?" UGH! Thank God I never wear dresses to church anymore!
I don't know if it has to do with being a Psychology major or what but I do know these types of questions and situations can't be avoided and shouldn't be avoided, it's all a part of parenting. They are going to happen and to be honest I don't get embarrassed but man, I really want to answer questions the right way and pace ourselves-my Lord at this rate he'll be ready for the birds and the bees like, uhh, tomorrow! YIKES! We are starting to gradually not allow baths with us two and trying to keep him out of the bathroom when I am in there but just last night I caught him peeking in the bathroom. When I caught him I said, "Dalen, what are you looking at?" He barged in full force and squatted down and looked closely and said, "Oh my gosh! Where's your penis?" At least he won't go around telling people I have one of those. Then I may be rumored to be the second pregnant "man" in America!
Today Dalen got to go to Chick-Fil-A and play on the playground. He had a blast and some poor girl had a meltdown after getting up a few of the stairs to the playground. I honestly think she was having a panic attack. Me and my friend watched for a minute and realized this girl, who was like 8!, would not come down and her mom was too big to fit up the steps to get her! (I personally think that playground should be a fire hazard b-c if you are a pound over 100 you probably couldn't fit up them.) Finally a skinny mom (which wasn't me, HA, I am sure you all guessed that) rescued the girl who was crying and totally beside herself. Later, when I went to get Dalen a few grandmothers were in there laughing and told me that Dalen (who was really concerned about the situation) had asked the girl, "Why are you tying (crying)?" The mom explained from down below, "Because she is really scared!" The grandmother then told me Dalen slapped the stair and said, "Oh my dosh (gosh) dirl (girl)! Dats why you tying (crying)? That's so stupid!" Wow, wonder where he gets his sympathetic side from??
1 comment:
That was histarical I just read this aloud to mom and dad... you are so funny. I love to read your blog. You make my day! I want to comment on every post they are so great.
Post a Comment