Umm, defriend!

I totally realize that if I were to tell you how annoyed I am at all of the complaints I read on FB and see on Twitter I would be just another guilty complainer. So, I will try to prove a point without complaining.

Obviously, I am guilty of complaining, I wrote about it a few posts back. It got pretty bad and just listening to myself was annoying. But honestly, I have NEVER in my life seen or heard more continuous complaining in my life! I am talking about day after day, post after post, every pain, disappointment, relationship problem posted for the entire world to read. No, I do not mind the occaisonal, "I need prayer, my back is killing me" post or even "the kids are driving me madd"-it keeps you real- but honestly I am about to contact the DSM to see if there is a disorder called Compulsive Complaining.

Because I noticed this problem in my own life, I have BEEN amazed at how many things you can find that just tickle you happy if you are attentive to your life. Seriously, there are SOOOO many things, small, unimportant things that I LOVE about this place called earth and yes, of course there are things that I despise but I just don't wish to meditate upon them day in and out for weeks at a time.

For those of you who are guilty of complaining and say, "So glad for you, Megan! Glad your life is THAT perfect that you can refrain from complaining" it has nothing to do with a perfect life and everything to do with the practice of self-control. Of course, I would love to vent about the terrible nights sleep I got two weeks back, or that every morning I wake up to neck and/or back pain or my old car or you name it...but COME ON PEOPLE! If you are breathing give some praise every now and again.

Just in case you wonder what ridiculous things I find myself so thankful for here are a few....

I am so thankful for to-go cup lids. I love them because they say Coke and Diet and I always punch Coke for Cola and Diet for Dalen so I can keep them seperate.

I love turning down our curvy street, slowly, because there is a walking trail and I get to see little babies pushed in their strollers and cute dogs being walked with wagging tails.

The fact that my back windows roll down and up is such a blessing. Its Cola's daily treat to stick her little fingers through the small cracks and feel the wind after dropping Dad and Dalen off at work and school.

I love that I've found so many FREE things to do with my kids like checking out library books, playing at Chik-fil-A playground or the indoor playground at the mall.

Super stoked I finally got a smart phone and it was FREE!

See, it's that easy.

And I must just end with this....do not justify your complaining with praise after. People who complain EVERYDAY and then follow the complaint by "oh, but God is so good" or "I know God will heal me" seriously it doesn't make it any better.

I've found a solution to toxic complaining....DEFRIEND!

Debt

This month is one of those months every young couple (don't let me know if I'm wrong, I'd like to think I am not alone) experiences. Unexpected bills hit you from every angle and messes up the budget you have tried so hard to master. And what other month would be better than, December? I must say I am really glad I don't have the added stress of feeling obligated to give my kids the entire world on Christmas Day.

Tonight, Mario and I cooked together in the kitchen. Our meals haven't been experimental recipes found on Pinterest this week but rather bland and casual as we try to cut back on everything we can. But this morning I found a frozen pack of pork chops and we whipped up an awesome dinner! Cajun fried pork chops! YUM!

We cooked in silence except for the nice voice of John Meyer humming in the background from Mario's phone. Like usual we sat the table, all of our bright red plates full of a great meal we prepared. We joined hands to pray and with hearts of thanks there was a moment of an overwhelming sense of peace that everything will be ok. My husband led the prayer and thanked God that "our love for one another will never be in debt".

It was with that line I realized my heart was full. My hands may look empty but my heart is full. And with that thanks and a Christmas candle lit in the center of the table we ate and laughed as if all was well in our life and then I realized, it was. All was/is well.

The money we have lost or have yet to discover is nothing that hard work can't reproduce but the love we have for one another is absolutely priceless and without it we would feel the pain of debt in our heart not just in our pockets.

Laying Things To Rest

I have found it so easy to become depressed during the Christmas holidays; it's cold outside, dark early and the ending of another year is tying up lose ends.

The end of every year I find myself reflecting upon the memories - good and bad. And of course, we all begin to think and dream about the year to come. I don't think there's ever been a year where I've said, "I did it all!" or "I accomplished all I wanted or could have!". Every year I find myself somewhat disappointed that I didn't do more, try harder or dream bigger.

This year I can hardly handle the heartache of not being in a house. I feel like our entire life was wrapped around looking, planning, saving, researching and dreaming of what Cola's second birthday would be like in our very own home or what Christmas would be like in our new place. When I start thinking of the end I know the beginning is just around the corner. 2012 will be here before we know it. Part of me just wants to lay things to rest. Stop hoping and believing for these big things to happen for our family and just dream differently.

But I am realizing the dream didn't fail, the plan did. The dreamer in us will never die but sometimes we just have to try a different route and plan a different strategy. My nerves become immediately frazzled when I think of starting to save for a house from scratch again. Everything we held on to is now gone - gone to dental work, hospital bills or rent payments.

I'm not sure what our new plan will be or how we can do it better but I don't want the dream to die. The plan may need to be rebirthed but the dream has to live on.

Craziness

Have you ever just looked around and thought, "Wow, this world we live in is just craziness?" Things people do don't make sense, sometimes. *This post is written while laughing, not complaining. So just enjoy my sarcasm.


Like, Target. Can you please tell me why in the world you are already selling bathing suits? It JUST got cold! Not to mention, who wants to think of getting in a bathing suit right around the Holidays...aka excuse to gain a good extra 5 lbs.?

And then there is the let's throw a party extroverts who want to invite you over (totally fine) and then suggest let's do a gift exchange! The most annoying part...they follow it up with oh, but don't buy anything big, just a little $5 something or another. Really, people, what's even the point? So you venture out in traffic (aka the black plague) to hunt a $5 something or another and realize there is absolutely NOTHING decent for a mere $5 and even if there was you can't look THAT cheap so you end up spending $15.

Oh, and I must mention room mothers. I had no idea Dalen's school had room mothers, I'm sure they kept it a secret in fear I would volunteer to be one HAHAHA. Anyways, I get a e-mail from a woman I have never met and whose name I couldn't pronounce if you paid me to asking me (and apparently the rest of the mothers of the class) should we get the teachers a gift (well of course) and would you be willing to chip in and do I have suggestions. How nice! (really) But then I get 15 e-mails in response to her e-mail saying things like "yes" or "sounds great". Uhh, yes, we should get them a gift? Or sounds great for us to chip in....AHH I was so confused and no one ever left a suggestion. So, if you are a room mother, take charge. A little clarity goes a long way.

The "Me" In Megan

Today is one of those days. Everything is going smoothly except for the occasional glitch every family experiences, every morning. But it's one of those days I am totally dreaming of shopping for winter scarves and new boots, getting a much needed manicure, eating a nice quiet lunch with a close friend and then napping with Mario.

I think "Me" is in Megan for a reason. I think of "Me" waaaay too much somedays. I wake up wanting things I know I can't afford and desire to pamper myself with things I don't have time for, in spite of having two children. Sometimes accepting the fact that I can't enjoy my life at my own leisure on most days is still a struggle. Of course, I am totally human - I long to sleep in but I have two alarm clocks called children and unfortunately they do not come equipped with a snooze button. I would love to sit for 15 minutes straight and paint my nails but I typically paint one stroke at a time and in between I am blowing a nose or digging something out of my baby's throat. Sometimes I go to church or the grocery store with a half painted hand. It's better to be half put together than not put together at all??

Sometimes the most beautiful thing about motherhood is that life is no longer about me and sometimes it serves as the greatest challenge. I wish I could say I wake up everyday bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to whip up a homemade breakfast and dress each child in a crisp, clean, freshly ironed outfit that matches perfectly. Unfortunately, some mornings I wake up and don't see Mom I see the "Me" in Megan.

I think every mother has these days. Days where shopping and pampering are a dream and reality is carpool, potty training and possibly a shower. Its tough. Nothing I haven't learned to conquer in time but it's still tough.

My Word

Is anyone else's mailbox overflowing with catalogs and sales ads? Seriously, I don't care you are selling oven mits for $.99 I just want my personalized Christmas cards from friends and family! We got our first one in the mail the other day. I LOVE cards!

Is anyone else bothered by all of the people who see your kids and without asking how they are or what fun things they are doing for Christmas with mom and dad they ask that annoying question, "What do you want for Christmas?" Well, of course that's all they ask, I mean it matters most right?

Yes. Bah Humbug.

I know. I can't picket America. I can't destroy consumerism. I can't impose my thoughts and beliefs upon others but really if you take a minute and evaluate you will see JUST how bad it is! It is BAD out there. Everywhere you turn there are commercials and ads and junk e-mails about stuff, things, toys.

My word right now is, focused. I am bombarded COMPLETELY with the emphasis on gifts but somehow, someway I am managing to stay on track. I'm sorry but I am totally patting myself on the back, cheering my family on and leading my kids right to the manger where we should be. And no, I am going batty or trying to be annoying but I think we all need focus right now.

Parties. Wish Lists. Traveling. Finances. Family. Work. Friends. School parties. It's almost impossible to not be overwhelmed! I thought the way to go was to do 1st things 1st but I am realizing if it's not 1st than it's not important. At some point we have to say no or maybe later or to be honest but my calendar is going to puke if I book another event that isn't being spent with my loved ones.

I feel so right about this. It's not a stand or a statement-it's a lifestyle. One I hope to God goes to my kids and straight to their kids and down to their kids. This is where I want my fingerprint, on generations to come. I want to make a difference and an impact, a radical change starting with my family.

You don't have to have a lot to give a lot. The most valuable thing you can give is time and it doesn't cost a dime.

Kisses

I feel like my heart is exploding with so many emotions and my body with so many feelings. Since late last night I can feel my body fighting off something icky, since yesterday morning my heart has reflected upon our morning sermon by a guest speaker who spoke on self-encouragement. Late this afternoon I finished the book Kisses From Katie which I KNOW I read in perfect timing. It is a book about giving, not about giving something but giving everything. It is a MUST READ. I typically ALWAYS give my books away when I'm done but this one I know I will go back to.

In this season of my life, where I am trying my best to be a great mom and a teacher of all things good I am being intentional about what I read. After seeing this book on my friends blog I knew it would be great to read around the holidays so that I would be encouraged and inspired to stay focused on giving and family. It's a book for EVERYONE-one who is considering adoption, one who wants to know more about the life of a missionary, one who wants to know more about Jesus and the fulfillment of His plans for our lives.

I am pleased to say that since the Friday after Thanksgiving I have checked out about a total of 18 books from the library about Christmas. We have read these by the light of the Christmas tree, snuggled in bed together or on the go and in-between brushing teeth. The Polar Express is Dalen's favorite! We've read ones about there being no snow on the original Christmas and the legend of the candy cane and how what you believe is what you see. Dalen's imagination has soared from the sunny south to the frigid north pole. I love it!

I'm proud to say our tree is lit, and speckled with gorgeous ornaments and topped with an angel with a porcelain face (the entire thing was given to us-tree, ornaments and angel) and it's completely bare underneath. I am even prouder to say my son hasn't even noticed and has only mentioned gifts a few times. I'm telling you, there is power in what you emphasize. Last time he mentioned gifts he added a pogo stick to his wish list. It was in one of the books we read.

My heart is so full and hopeful for the 1st time in a while that I am doing this thing well. This thing we call motherhood, thing we've been blessed with called life. I've stayed encouraged by reflecting upon so many testimonies of what God has done in my life and marriage and family and I am trusting he will do it for others and in us AGAIN and AGAIN.

The Quietest Little Troublemaker

I never thought I would see the day where my daughter would give me trouble all day long. I mean she has always been so peaceful, snuggly, sweet and quiet. About a month ago I feel like a different child woke up and took over my kid!

Today I went to the kitchen to fix dinner and left Cola sitting with a book in the living room. I seriously never heard a peep! I figured she was looking quietly at her book, like always. Uh, no. She was taking every ornament off the tree....AGAIN...and had taken the entire strand of lights off. She was standing the arm of the couch leaning over and I caught her and the tree just as they both begin to sway and lose their balance. Did I mention I never heard a peep?

Dalen and I have read 10 Christmas books so far. Tonight was his favorite selection The Polar Express. We all piled in the bed as a family and I thought we were all listening intently as I read about the little boy who traveled by train to the North Pole. Umm, no. The next thing I know I see my petite, powdered-covered "princess" re-enter our bedroom with a shameful look on her face. She had stripped herself down to her pull up. I looked at my husband in disbelief and finally asked, "What? How? She was just laying next to me!" None of us ever heard her walk out of our room or get into the pantry, open the box of bisquick, pour it all over the kitchen floor and ROLL IN IT! Seriously! How quiet can a kid be? Well, I guess when I prayed my 2nd would be quieter than my 1st I surely found favor!

Not only has she been into things she has had a mind of her own. She casually tells us no with a roll of the eyes as if she is granting our every wish. It's crazy!

For some reason I think we are going to be seeing a lot of messes between the two Hoodlums. Let the good times roll!

The Gifts That Keep Giving.

I'm 27. I've been privileged to celebrate the birth of Christ in the company of family twenty-seven times. Every year we had a tree and the base was always hugged by gifts, surrounded by family and most years a warm fireplace. Christmas morning was the same most years; we got up early, read the Christmas story, prayed, opened gifts, ate breakfast, went back to sleep and then ate lunch. I never had a bad Christmas. They have all been full and wonderful.

This year we are getting the kids three gifts each. If it was good enough for Christ, it's plenty enough for them.

I just had a revelation though. I have an impecable memory. Like, seriously, there aren't too many details I forget but I just sat and racked my brain trying to think of gifts I got as a child. I literally cannot recall one. Not a single one! I remember the Christmas before I got married my parents got us laptops but I seriously cannot remember one single gift I got as a kid. I hate to admit it because I know my parents worked so very hard to provide gifts for us but the truth is, I only remember the memories.

I know, it sounds like I am just trying to prove a point that I made in a previous blog (family matters most at the holidays, not gifts) but I promise you I only remember memories made around the kitchen table playing games like Bolderdash, Trivial Pursuit, and Taboo. I remember every year hearing a small whisper talking over whoever read the Christmas story and looking over only to see my grandmother quoting the entire story along with my dad or grandfather, totally by memory. I remember when I was really little, running like crazy through my Granny's house with my cousins, laughing our heads off and my one cousin who always peed in her pants when we got to laughing really hard.

Then there was the year when it was strange to feel the child like excitement all over again because I had a son to share the morning with. He wore red pajamas and had the cutest little tummy ever. I remember the first Christmas my grandfather was gone and the year my uncle was in Iraq. I remember last year, like it was yesterday. Our first Christmas just us four Hoods. We did only what we wanted to do. It was peaceful and full and fun.

Memories are the gifts that keep giving-giving me laughter, smiles and assurance that when I take the difficult stand to emphasize Christ (which is totally minimized by society these days) and do away with the stress of excess I am ABSOLUTELY doing the RIGHT thing. I know ten years from now I won't remember what's under the tree, but I will treasure who sat around it.

How many child gifts can you remember? Do you remember more memories than gifts?

Thanksgiving 2011

This Thanksgiving was my favorite Thanksgiving EVER. We made it a priority to do family, family and more family. My parents came in on Wednesday, I made dinner (which turned out great, sigh of relief), and then Thursday we headed to Belleview to my dad's side of the family to eat and spend the day.

There were a whopping 50 people in attendance-thank God for a massive bounce house, HUGE front porch and acres of flat, wide open, grassy fields for the kids to run absolutely wild. The day was so full! Not full of busy or stress but full of laughter, loved ones and the kind of fellowship that makes your heart fall deeper in love with your family. We all brought a dish or two and sat at long covered tabled on my aunt and uncles front porch (yes, it's that big). The kids had an absolute blast! The ran, jumped and slid a million times again in the field and on the bounce house. If your weather permits one I would strongly suggest renting one for large family gatherings and of course if your property allows space for one.

Wednesday night we put up the tree, with the help of my mom. My dad sat and let us know of every bare spot and Mario took pictures. She turned out so pretty! Cola has de-ornamented the tree several times and shattered one ornament by tossing it on the tile floor. I guess that's just all a part of it? Dalen got the honors of putting the angel on the top.

All in all it was a great few days! It is still strange to me though. To look around and see my cousins who I used to run around in the rain in my panties with, now mothers and wives and working full time. It's also probably the first time I looked around at my family of great aunts and uncles and grandparents and even parents and see their age. It's increasing by the day. It hit me this year they won't be here forever. Which one of us will open the door of our home when they are gone? Very strange feeling but I felt it heavy and deep within. For now I am just thankful we had another year with them.

Life

I've been overwhelmed of the feelings I had a few years ago when I took a job in retail so that we could have extra cash for gifts, for Christmas. I was working more than I was spending time with my family which is what holidays are all about and I said I would never do it again. Every year, this time of year, when traffic seems to pick up and Thanksgiving is overlooked and black Friday ads are more important than ANYTHING it seems a lurking heaviness comes in my life and won't leave.

You can't escape society. You just can't. But I hate how what life is all about, is not what life is all about-if that makes sense. I understand we all have different priorities because we all have different lives but seriously how important is the newest toy, the greatest gift, that second job? What are we teaching our children about our priorities? When we are willing to stand in line longer than we are willing to sit and do a craft with our kids where is our heart, really?

And to be honest, I won't stop here.

Of course the holidays are very tempting to get overwhelmed, too busy, booked with parties and feel as though you have to attend the things you have no interest in but really I think it's to the point where it happens all year!

What is life all about? REALLY! WHAT IS IT REALLY ABOUT?

I just found a Pinterest pin which included tips on how to be a successful anorexic. REALLY? These tips (if really completed by someone) would literally consume one's life! So, really, is life seriously about how skinny one can be? I don't think there is anything wrong with buying a new toy or splurging here and there on your kids around the holidays but when it consumes your life?? How far are we going to go people?

I think that's called idolatry. When something becomes more important more than anything and even God that is an idol.

My heart just gets sad this time of year. I remember waiting for the Christmas stuff to get put out and now it's like Halloween stuff and Christmas are out together and Thanksgiving....we might as well just take it off the calendar because what does it really matter anymore??

I just want to be cautious of keeping my priorities in line. I'll never get this moment back-EVER and you will never get this Thanksgiving or Christmas back either so what is most important this holiday season?

Dalen's Day

Today was my parent co-op day with Dalen's school. I love going into his classroom and seeing him in a classroom setting and how he interacts with others and works on things that we don't typically work on at home. It's really entertaining. This week was a great week to go considering they have done something called Pilgrim week. They have made everything from indian jewlery to pilgrim snacks. These days also give me plenty of funny stories.

So I finally get to meet the infamous W, who stole Dalen's first girlfriend L. One day Dalen and W are best friends and the next they are not so friendly. W REALLY clung close to me....so close I had to give him a friendly "could ya scoot back a tad kid??" Here is how our first conversation went.

W: Hey my name is Wee-Wum
Me: Oh, hey William.
W: What's her name?
Me: Cola
W: Coe-wah?
Me: yes
W: Who picked that name?
Me: me
W: oh, yoooow weiwd.
thought: possibly.

I got to get to know Dalen's new girlfriend, Sofia. She is super cute and sweet. She did agree that she was in fact Dalen's girlfriend.

One of Dalen's teachers is older. Probably in her mid 60s. Who knows how she keeps up with 20 toddlers! You can tell she is a total busy bee. She helped the kids do crafts without ever looking up. It was hilarious! She kept calling all of the kids the wrong names. I guess she didn't know their voices as well as she thought. At one point one kid told me he peed in his refrigerator at home and I didn't hold back and let him know that was disgusting. Without looking up she said umm Dalen let's not talk about things that would make an adults stomach turn and Dalen said but Mrs. K...(I'm sure he was going to let her know it wasn't him who told the story) and she totally cut him off and said let move on now. She did this like three times to different kids. I think they gave up trying to correct her.

Another kid had to let me know after I sat down on the rug for circle time that he finds snot on it all the time. WAHOO!

It really is amazing how much these little kids know and retain. It blows my mind! This co-op day was a really good day and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

The Grander Scheme...

I just bought some RED lipstick. It was too hot not to share. This is probably my most favorite picture of Cola yet. This chica loves her some new panties, lip gloss and nail polish. While it's super cute now, I think it will be super expensive later. All in all I love having me a girl's girl!

This is totally not the point of this blog but...I've mentioned a million times how much I LOVE blogs! Recently, I have been so inspired by what I have read. Of course, there is my close friend who is blogging about her journey to Cambodia as a missionary, then there's another high school friend who is adopting a precious girl from Ethiopia and I just read about another young woman who I never knew well but attended college with, will be moving to Australia. Wow. I have a close friend who just got engaged and will become an aunt to twins early next year, another friend who just landed a great new job, my sister who went back to school and is making straight As (wahoo!), my mom just attended a wedding which is a lifetime of new beginnings for two young people.

Newness.

It's all around me.

So many people are taking the plunge into new places, new jobs, saying I Do, changing the life of babies and the world. I am surrounded by greatness! Great people, great things.

I love that being surrounded by great people makes you ask yourself what's the greatest things I'm doing in my life right now. It makes you want to strive to do something, anything other than the status quo.

But to be honest am I doing enough? Maybe this is Seasonal Depression Disorder (ha!) talking or maybe I'm not alone. But, really what's the most daring and greatest thing I've done lately.

Hmm, well I did just score that hot new red lipstick for ninety-three cents and I shared it with my daughter. That should count for something, shouldn't it??

If you talk to any of these people it's so humbling to hear them share about their life because they talk about moving around the world or adopting that baby from so far away or scoring that A+ is just so darn simple. About as simple as trying that new lipstick. There are those anxieties and fears present but all in all they just go with what is right.

I'm not sure if I have anyone looking at my ever so simple life and becoming inspired but I'd love to spice my life up a little. Do something crazy, daring, changing for someone else's better. I'm wondering what that thing may be and I'm not sure yet but maybe I'll explore and little find the right thing for me. The thing that will keep me going, not on fumes but on excitement and purpose.

Any suggestions??

Dear Dalen & Cola

Do you ever just take a step back and look at things (society, technology, government, fashion) and see them evolving before your eyes? I'm not an embracer of change and for me the evolution of all things is scary! As things change and evolve into new trends or become extinct (couldn't think of another word lol) there are a few things I never want my kids to lose sight of. And here there...

Never forget the value of a handwritten note. It shows you are personable and go the extra mile to make something simple, special. I must say I love the random e-mail, private FB message or midnight text but NOTHING beats finding an unexpected card or note in my mailbox!

Always use manners. I used to think manners were all about making the parent looking good but now I realize (with manners being so yesterday) manners are about showing even a complete stranger respect, which everyone is worthy of.

Don't forget thank you notes. The reason thank you notes are so moving is because anyone can say thanks at the moment when they receive a gift or kind gesture but receiving a thank you note later lets someone know whatever they gave/did still has you thinking and moved you days or even weeks later.

Emphasize traditions and never hesitate to share them. I know I am a little Pinterest crazy right now but really the crafts or holiday ideas are so cool. Can you imagine sharing one small and seemingly insignificant craft or tradition to a friend or on Pinterest and then hundreds of families making beautiful traditions and memories by trying them? What you do with your family today could change a household tomorrow.

Know how valuable time is and how invaluable TV is not. We do watch TV in our home and probably more than we should but the truth is I'm not going to remember next year that episode of Regis and Kelly but I will remember and treasure a craft I made with the kids or the sound of laughter while Mario wrestles with the kids. Sometimes the only way to really connect is to disconnect-from TV, FB, Internet and darn it turn those smart phones off ;)

Never stop using your imagination. A good book is a great way to re-spark a dying imagination! Your imagination is the womb in which dreams are conceived! Keep giving those dreams and crazy ideas life!

What do you want your children to never lose sight of?

Thanks A Lot

I've been reading so many FB posts about what people are thankful for and I am assuming because it's November everyone feels they should be extra thankful. Sometimes this gets on my nerves because I don't think it should take a holiday for us to be reminded we have much to be thankful for or an anniversary to let your spouse know you appreciate them or a birthday to let someone know you are glad they are alive.

But I do know holidays and special occaisons can often help put things in perspective and especially because a lot of people get time off from work they spend more time thinking and reflecting on things they may not have much time to spend on, on a normal day. After reading a lot of FB posts about what people are so thankful for in others it dawned on me they were pretty much all about what others do for them not for who they.

As a mom who is in constant demand and constantly doing something for the kids sometimes it's nice just to know it's not JUST about having clean underwear or a hot meal or clean bathtub to bathe in sometimes it's nice that people get to the core of the clean undies and hot meal. For instance, I wish people would appreciate the qualities in me more than the things I do. Then of course I have to self-examine myself and ask myself how often do I let others know what I appreciate about them.

This summer while at a wedding for a friend one of my friends literally spent the entire trip doing for others. She was constantly asking what she could do to help set up, make things easier for the bride, she even went out in the rain to get the car for the bride after the bridesmaid luncheon. And while all of those things were awesome and appreciated what I really appreciated about the acts of service was the unending level of compassion and selflessness in her heart. I really want to be a better person at letting others know what I appreciate about them, the true qualities that make me want to be their friend. It shouldn't be a time of thanks only when they make those qualities about us it should be brought to their attention often.

I really think appreciation is one of the best things in life. It lets you know you are noticed and not doing acts of service in vain but that someone is benefitting from them. Let someone know they are appreciated today!

Conquerer

I often express how much I love reading blogs. Only the truthful ones, though. The ones who are truthful enough to let you know how frustrating motherhood can be, how demanding marriage is and how grueling balancing life seems at times. Recently my heart has been completely broken and my mind completely stretched while reading some of the most tragic life events of others.

These stories, while so trying, seem unfathomable my mind can't stop trying to comprehend why these things happened, how the person will get through the circumstance and when healing will find them complete. A young woman from my hometown who I have only met once gave birth to two identical twin boys at 20 weeks who didn't make it. My sister had a classmate commit suicide. Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after 72 days (spare me your latest jokes because frankly divorce is just not funny to me). Another young person committed suicide because of hateful peers who just wouldn't give them a break. And lately I was introduced to a website of testimonies from couples who decided to not allow their mistakes of adultry turn to the choice of divorce.

My biggest struggle today was using tweezers to remove bits of toilet paper that Cola had shoved sooo deeply inside her nose I was confident we would be going to the pediatrician. My biggest disappointment was my son jumping off the swing AGAIN at it's highest point and landing on his chin (no worries he's fine). My only hurt was a slight sore throat I seem to be fighting off again. While I am so thankful tragedy has been far from my heart and grief forgein from my soul I can't help but to ask what have I conquered today.

The only thing I can think of is myself. My heart has grown a little more compassionate and mind a little more challenged as I try to think of this heart wrenching events. It makes me want to give more, pray more intently and most of all thank God more often.

Whirlwind week!

This post is going to be rather looong. That is, if my brain is still functioning enough to recall the events of it. Tuesday my dear friend A arrived to spend a few days of her Fall Break with us. I was super excited to have company and especially glad it was this particular friend who is sooo go with the flow you know every time she says "I don't care what we do" you know she REALLY means it.

We spent the two days she was here sitting, talking, browsing Pinterest, shopping, EATING and seeing Footloose (so hilarious!). The best part of her trip was seeing her minister to our young people by simply sharing what God has given her the opportunity to take part in. Many times I think we have preconcieved ideas that in order to minister to a group of people about something spiritual we must do it in a sermon format with deep theological reflection and while that is necessary at times this night it was not. But God moved all of the same. In my heart of hearts I really wanted our youth to walk away with a few things. #1 Missionaries aren't ALL weird or old (hahaha) #2 Being a missionary isn't about what you will live without or how far away you will move but totally about how obedient you are to his calling and #3 That when God calls us to do something we won't do it without fear or reserve but rather in spite of fears and reservations.

I totally know all of our students saw and got this through her sharing. It was so awesome to see them so wide eyed and attentive, you could have heard a pin drop! We have 5 young people (some young adults and some teens) who are praying for confirmation about whether God has called them to full time ministry and I know what she shared helped them realize if they are experiencing fear, that's normal and its normal to take time to process what they are feeling.

I am super proud to call this woman my friend. No because she is moving across the world to live possibly without a dryer and air conditioning but because she is an example of obedience and consistency as a friend and follower of Christ.

A left on Thursday and my mom came that afternoon. Friday I woke up to Cola's small cough being an monsterous croop with wheezing. Her entire chest and stomach was caving in and she was struggling to breath every few breaths. I knew she need to go to the doctor. TO make a long story short we found out she was in respiratory distress (having an asthma attack). She was sent to an ER where even after two steroids and an hour long breathing treatment she was only a little better. It was a loooong scary day and I am still praying we won't see these things again in her. She is now on a steroid twice a day and breathing treatments every four hours. This will change after a few days (we pray!).

Thankfully and my mom was in town and was able to help with Dalen for the day especially since we got a call in the midst of everything that Dalen began wheezing. Talk about a crazy day! I'm not sure how we manage with no family but somehow we do but God must have known in advance we really needed some extra help. I keep waiting for the day my parents won't be the ones giving to us but we will be the ones giving to them. So far I don't think the day is here. My mom left yesterday and both kids seem to be doing much better. Thankfully!

What a week!

My love

Ok this blog will be totally confusing if you don't know my sense of humor or my personality. It's not a blog where I am complaining but taking something super bothersome and voicing it with my sarcastic humor. Those who know me will be able to hear my tone and see my expressions, those who don't will be annoyed and confused. Anyways...

Have I mentioned Pinterest is my new love? My addiction? It has taken Facebook's place but don't worry I won't let it take my blog's place ;)

I am starting to realize how MUCH FB has changed our world, our society. Everything you do has the DNA of FB running through it's veins and I am not so sure I like it! I'm sorry but I have two kids that want to follow me to the bathroom the last thing I wanted was 100 people following me as I like crafts and recipes and fashion ideas.

I just feel like everything we do virtually has turned into some psychostalker Lifetime special. I can't even search anything on Google without ads pertaining to those searches coming up on my sidebar of FB. It's annoying. I feel like all perameters of privacy and personal space have been invaded by people I don't, or better yet can't know b-c its programmed by a darn machine.

Just when I was really liking Pinterest I started seeing invites to follow pinboards and likes on my boards and I got that super strange feeling I am sure people get when they date someone on E Harmony and think the person is totally good looking but when they FINALLY go on that official first date they realize they are the biggest dweeb ever. At least I imagine it feels the same?? Ha!

I'm not sure if it's my personality or the stage of mothering I am in that just makes me feel a little closterphobic at times. I am being followed on FB, Pinterest, my blog, twitter and in real life by my kids. It's just getting a little much for me. Anyone agree? Or think I am totally ridiculous? Or maybe my next cleanse needs to be a few forms of social networking?

What to do with disappointment...

Because I have spent so time examining myself in the area of complaining, I have actually come to a lot of conclusions concerning the issue. I tried a complaining cleanse and it was very unsuccessful. Not unsuccessful in the sense that I couldn't stop verbally complaining but unsuccessful in the sense that at the root of every complaint I have realized there is a stinging from the pain of disappointment.

Disappointment is an unfulfilled expectation, the failure of hope, the sting of an undesirable circumstance so great that it's almost as though hope and faith collide and without any say so disappointment is birthed and when left unattended one disappointment leads to another and they breed, birthing despair. Now that I know this, I know that complaining isn't the root issue, disappointment is. I have spent some time especially since last night (when all of this hit me) re-evaluating my expectations because if I complain a lot I must be disappointed alot?? I'm still piecing a lot of this together.

One thing I do KNOW is that when we are complaining we should immediately question, "What am I disappointed about?" or "What expectations were unfulfilled?" and then decipher "Were my expectations set too high?" or "What can I do differently next time so that my let down will be more manageable?" I also know that we have two choices to make when dealing with disappointment. We can talk about it or pray about it. Sometimes talking helps- A LOT! Sometimes and a lot of the time it makes things worse. If you are going to talk about it make sure you are talking to someone who is wise and sensitive and open to hearing not just listening. I would suggest a mentor or someone who has no biased opinions or nothing to gain or lose by being honest. It's important that if we do decide to speak with someone about our trouble hearts we still ALWAYS choose to pray. We should take our burdens to the Lord and leave them there, at the foot of the old splintery cross where healing was made possible.

I am learning the power of asking the RIGHT questions at the RIGHT time. We should always be asking questions that will advance us towards wholeness and wellness in Christ. The infamous question of why hardly promotes either. Have you ever answered your toddler when they ask why? You will find yourself an hour later still answering a vicious circle of why based questions.

I have learned rather quickly that our hearts should always be guarded. A guarded heart doesn't mean that you don't trust it means you have made a Biblical principle, top priority. Proverbs 4:23 says ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Yes, I would assume that guarding our hearts is a matter of life and death. I have certainly experienced this in my life. When our hearts aren't guarded disappointments allow the organ of life to begin producing deadly emotions such as despair, distrust, pain, depression, bitterness, resentment and so on.

Here's to guarding your wellspring...

A Few Reasons...

Here are a few reasons I believe I am addicted to Pinterest.com.

1) I thought about adding a glue gun to my Christmas list.

2) Someone's trash fabric scraps would be my found treasure.

3) Nutmeg and sunflower oil may make it on my grocery list for next week.

4) I am retracing the steps I learned so long ago in my Family and Consumer Science class on how to sew on a button.

5) I am considering giving ALL handmade gifts for Christmas this year.

6) I am mad Hobby Lobby doesn't let you rent sewing machines by the hour.

Oh, yes, I believe I have a slight problem!

The Season of all things cold and flu...

It's no secret flu season is just around the corner or is it already flu season? Not sure, but anyhow don't you just LOVE this time of year? The time of year where you are enjoying watching your child play with another child before you leave him/her at school and begin to engage in a nice conversation with their parent only for the parent to reveal how sick their entire family has been. Umm, why are they at school?

Then of course you have to love the pastors who feel the need to include a meet and greet every service and encourage you to shake not A hand or hug A neck but several people around you! Can't we all have a understanding that a air high five will do just fine during this season??!!

I just love this time of year! When you are standing in line at Wal-Mart and you hear coughing and then feel a nice breeze at the base of your neck...ooooh that is just my fav!

Anyways, if you see me out and about send me a virtual hug LATER as for now I think I'd like to take out a no contact order on the general public. And please, if your child has been sick let them stay home and rest! Watch a church service online from somewhere or let them make up their work later from school and for crying out loud stay away from me!

I told you I loved this time of year!

Cleansed...not quite

I am on Day 3 of my Complaining Cleanse. Somehow I am left to believe I have quite a ways to go until I am "cleansed". Wednesday we left for Ft. Myers (all four of us) in a rented Corolla (smaller than our Camry) and headed to Next Level Church where Mario spoke for the youth group. It was only about a three hour drive south. Not bad at all, huh?

I made a choice to put Cola in a diaper on the way because we didn't want to stop every 20 minutes for her to potty and she went crazy. I guess that's a good thing because she is totally taking this potty training thing to the level of perfection! I am so proud of her!

Anyways, she hadn't napped all day and would NOT fall asleep, neither would Dalen. I noticed a total of 5 billboards along the way advertising for Vasectomys. I am pretty darn convinced that's one of the most brilliant marketing strategies yet! Just put a family of 4 in a car waaaay too small with two children who haven't and won't nap and viola you will have patients stopping in everyday!

Anyways, the church was great and the team we met we amazing hosts. They all worked together so gracefully and flawlessly. After several days of no accidents Cola had one that night. It was disappointing to start the count over again but she is doing so well who can complain...NOT me!

On the way home we stopped by the beach and for lunch. We hadn't planned to do it but I am so glad we did. We caught Cola scooping up sand and eating it out of a shell and Dalen made huge balls of wet sand to peg at the birds. All the resting folks we quite entertained and I am sure annoyed. The kids let out some energy and slept most of the way home.

I am starting to realize I am slower to speak (you can ALL thank me later) when I am trying to eliminate complaining. I think more about what I am about to say before I say instead of having to deal with guilt after. It's still coming more natural to comlain rather than thank and I will be happy when that is the other way around!

Complaining Cleanse Day #1

Um, who double dog dared me to do seven days without complaining? Oh, myself. Pardon me while I give myself a swift kick in the butt. Oh my gosh! I am the worst complainer - EVER! Now that I am paying attention to it I am just amazed. Not sure how I have a husband or friends for that matter.

And why did I have to choose to start on the day that I had to pack for three people and do countless loads of laundry? I started this cleanse on the day I realized the new polish color is gold and looks HORRIBLE against my skin. By noon I literally felt like it would be impossible to make it an entire day without allowing those complaining thought to escape my mouth. I did pretty well but lost a few of those thoughts through my big mouth.

When did this become such a habit for me?? And why didn't anyone tell me? Tell me how annoying it is? Tell me what a brat I sound like and how darn unattractive a whiner is?? So here's to day two...the day our whole family gets to take a short road trip down the road together, in a small car...but no, I am not complaining I am excited! The small the car, the thicker the bond, right?? ;)

7 Days

This mornings was one of those mornings. I debated calling in sick and then I remembered I'm on call 24/7 and have no sick days. I woke up at 6:45 a.m. not by choice. No one said good morning, what can I bring you for breakfast, or why don't you sleep a few longer instead I got a moaning baby ready for breakfast and a griping toddler asking over and over if I had bought him a doughnut. Both kids followed me to the kitchen where I took an antibiotic (had an infected tooth extracted the other day) and then both moaning and complained when they realized I wasn't fixing breakfast yet. Good greif! I didn't even have my contacts in yet!

After kicking them both out of the bathroom because yes, I am entitled to pee in peace they lingered at the door waiting. When I opened the door and saw them both standing there with hungry bellies and begging eyes I began my day as I usually do, complaining. "You are both so impatient! Sit on the couch and stop following me! It won't make your breakfast come any quicker! The sun isn't even out yet! I am barely awake! Look at all of the toys you both left out yesterday!" And so on and so forth. Yes, I actually have days where I talk to my kids that way. I know. I am a horrible mother.

Something happened today though. I realized with their every complaint I had either proceeded with one or followed theirs with another. So annoying, SO unattractive and SO not the example I want to be to my daughter who will one day be a mother and I certainly don't want my son picking a complainer to mother his children. I was so seriously disgusted by how much I complained by 8 a.m. I got in a corner blasted P&W music from my laptop and googled what the Bible says about complaining. Not only was I convicted I was ready for deliverance! What a nasty habit to have! God gives us so much good yet all we mumble about is the bad.

During those 5 minutes even while asking for God's help I found myself complaining. I found myself praying for someone to cater to me while I deal with this awful tooth pain instead of asking and believing for healing. I began thanking God for healthy kids and then complaining about how loud they stomp and often they whine and obnoxiously they play. I really don't think that is thanks or praise at all. How meaningful is a compliment or thank you when someone follows it by a bunch of you shoulda, coulda, wouldas....NOT VERY!

So I am challenging myself to a seven day complaining cleanse. For every complaint I think or even say I will repent and then fill my mouth with thanksgiving and praise. After all we ALL have sooo much to be thankful for.

In spite of this horrible tooth pain, I am so thankful that I have been able to pack and do laundry for our overnight trip tomorrow night. I am also thankful for another opportunity to meet people and share the gospel with another group of young people. I am so thankful and grateful to God that right now I don't work and I am able to go with my husband when he travels so that we can keep our covenant we won't travel alone. Ah, that sounds so much more inviting!

Perfection.

We woke up today with a perfectly sunny sky, slight breeze and cool temp. I was actually really surprised at how cold it was this morning. I think it was warning that even way down here in Orlando we may have another cold winter...I'm praying not! Anyways it was a perfect day for some outside play.

We took the kids out on their bikes and can I just say Dalen can FLY on his little tricycle! Cola, struggled peddling on hers and ended up in her stroller while Dalen finished out his ride. He loves going down the little ramp sidewalks at our apartment complex and turning down side streets and making it over those mountianous speed bumps. He is quite the rider!

We managed to spend an entire hour outside with Dalen just riding his bike and none of us broke a sweat (except for him). That's a miracle!

Cola has been potty training all week and has only had two accidents! I am soooo proud of her! She finally went #2 in the toilet which she was quite fearful to do. I must express how cute her little tush is in her Dora undies.

Dalen coaches her through going just like us. He has been reminded all over again that "she never growed a penis, yet" and I'm still trying to explain she never will and that's part of being a girl. Hasn't quite sunk in, but I guess it's just a matter of time.

I'm excited about this coming week-quick trip to Ft. Myers, new series in youth and I get to volunteer at Dalen's school for their "Apple Orchard" week. Busy but fun week!

The ultimate trainer

Before you have children you never think of having to train an individual to go to bed and STAY there or sit in a chair, the right way. You probably don't think of having to teach your children that this is MY space while that over there is YOURS. Parenting has thrown me for some loops.

I didn't do so well at teaching my son boundaries and to play independently but I am doing a great job with C. I know there are many controversial arguments (which I don't understand) about blanket training but I started this with Cola the other day and it's working beautifully. I use it a couple times a day when I am working on laundry (she loves to unfold what I've JUST folded) or cooking in the kitchen with a hot stove (to prevent injury) or when I need some personal space.

I can't even count how many times I've sat at a table with other mothers and we all complain about how we haven't even showered in the bathroom alone in a month or used the restroom without an audience or how we can't even breath without a child right in our face. The longer I am a parent I realize those conversations reveal a lot about myself, others and the quality of control we have in our homes. The fact your kids are staring while you are peeing has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the lack of control you have over the situation.

I have learned this the hard way. Going to the restroom in private is not a privilege it is a RIGHT that I am now exercising every time I have to go. My children are not allowed in the restroom with me and blanket training has helped with this too. When my son is at school I leave Cola on the blanket with a few toys and tell her not to move. This assures me while I am in the bathroom for a few minutes she is with safe toys that will entertain her and that she knows her boundaries do not go beyond the borders of the blanket. This assures me she won't get into anything dangerous or get hurt.

Blanket training is such a great way to establish independence and boundaries and self-control. I use a pretty big blanket so my child will in no way see it as a form of punishment. The big blanket gives her plenty of space to play freely yet also have clear boundaries. Every child needs to learn independence and its tough. Of course some days there are tears and but for the most part my daughter does great at sitting and playing. And of course I get a lot done.

I have learned quickly that every time she has to spend some moments on the blanket I need to make sure and give her tons of praise and follow up the blanket time with face to face interaction. I can totally see this method backfiring if abused. You also to start with a few minutes and work your way up to a nice period of time that's age appropriate. For example I know better than to expect my 18 month old to sit for an hour but 15-20 minutes is totally doable.

Another area I now have complete control over is where my kids sleep. Cola was climbing out of her crib all night, every night. Now that she has a little toddler bed, if she gets out of it even if its 30 times a night (she's been close!) I take her straight back to her bed and say bedtime very sternly and leave. If she keeps getting up I take her right back. We are starting to see results with this too. Do I feel like getting up at 3 am to do this up a flight of stairs 20 times a night?? Absolutely not but I also don't feel like getting kicked a million times a night and thrown out of my OWN bed. Most of us parents aren't as helpless as we think we are just too lazy to show who is boss. And sometimes that means you have to get up 20 times a night and take your child back to bed. When you don't you might as well blow the party party horn and toss the confetti in honor of the control your child has just taken. Needless to say, the only time this house is gonna be seeing confetti is during a birthday!

Quitters.

After enduring weeks of sleepless nights, due to our 18 month old climbing out of her crib every hour on the hour, we decided it was time to convert her crib into a little toddler bed. We knew it wouldn't solve the problem of her leaving her room countless times a night but we decided it would prevent possible injury.

We weren't surprised when she lasted only four minutes in her new big girl bed on the first night of sleeping in it. From about 8:30 p.m. to 11 we made about 12 trips upstairs to put her back where she belonged. For you that know me, 11 p.m. is (on most nights) passed my bedtime. Eventually, I drifted into a deep enough sleep to where she left her bed and staggered into ours and I didn't even feel it. No big deal, right?

I really hit me how many thoughts came into my mind to just leave her alone, let her come downstairs, who really cares. Eventually every child learns to sleep on their own and in their own space, right? Wrong! The root of the problem was wanting to quit - probably due to laziness and a little bit of fear of how my day would run without sleep the night before.

No one likes a quitter. Especially me! Sometimes we quit because of fear, other times because of laziness, many times because we are so insecure we think we can't finish. But persevering is an action I want a guilty sentence for. I love Hebrew 10:35-30. Basically, don't throw away your confidence, persevere and see God's promises come to pass. If you want to please God, don't shrink back!

Of course, this portion of scripture is talking about our walk of faith not putting your toddler to bed multiple times in a night but if we quit in the small things, we will quit in the big things.

My kids are watching-everything! I don't want them to watch a quitter. I want them to watch a woman of stamina, strength and endurance. So who wants to join my no quitting campaign?! Cheers to endurance and the finish line!

I Don't Know How She Does It

This week I went to see I Don't Know How She Does It. I had been waiting for it to come out and I was so not disappointed. This humorous, sneak peek into every mother's reality, was not only encouraging but uplifting. Encouraging because I am constantly reassured that I am not the only mother on the planet who has mental lists and can't sleep at night until I've rehearsed them a million times and uplifting because you see a powerful woman find balance and clarity in what really matters most in life.

I took off from home Thursday afternoon, left my kids with their dad and unashamedly pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them there the entire movie. I was comfy in my jeans, t-shirt and TOMS. My hair was pulled back and my face bare. I was the perfect date for me! While I was gone I got occasional updates from Mario-one picture of Cola wearing kitchen gloves, another text to say he had successfully made dinner and Dalen thought his pasta was better than mine and another assuring me Cola wasn't feeling 100 % but she was still sweet as ever.

I watched that movie and laughed at so many scenes I have found myself in and ached with the character, Kate, at many of the heartbreaks all of us mothers experience from time to time. I watched a smart, intelligent, woman balance two kids an amazing career and marriage. Throughout the movie different characters say, "I don't know how you do it!" And the truth is most of don't. The movie even refers to Kate as a juggler and most of us are just that. Except my juggling typically looks like a circus act gone bad!

Through every scene there is a dim, yet silver lining piecing this woman's story together. It is the faint revelation for us all that we are all so blessed to have wonderful husbands who not only support us and our dreams but come along side of us to watch them unfold. I don't work right now and honestly I can't imagine working with two kids, without family close by to help out but even though I don't work I have still found myself saying I don't know how I do it. I watched that movie and by the end I knew exactly how I do it. I knew exactly how my heart heals so quickly from let downs and failed attempts to discipline according to the building of the character of my kids. I was certain I knew how I go to bed every night assured it was worth it and tomorrow will be conquered with a greater force than we used on today. I do it the same way Kate did it, with my husband by my side.

You may not understand the way we do things, you may not even like the way we do things, but we get them done-TOGETHER. I am now more assured than ever that there was such a divine plan for my life when I said I do and I am so glad I did. So, while I may not know how you do it, I am proud to say I know EXACTLY how I do it.

Cheers, to my critics!

I really loved this quote in A Love That Multiplies that talks about critics:
"We can learn from our critics, either because what they're saying is true-or because of the way we respond when it isn't.
What a way to look at criticism! You can learn either way!

Lately, my mornings have been filled with my sweet girl nipping at my heels. Everywhere I go, she goes. She loves to be tickled, held and taught her body parts and songs with motions. I can hold her attention a lot long than I could with Dalen at her age. Some days it's amazing and others its quite demanding. But I am enjoying alone time with her four days out of my week.

This week feels like three in one! So much has happened! Dalen turned four, Cola is drinking from cups without lids, Mario brought down parts to her crib to convert it to a toddler bed and she's used the bathroom three times! Whew, what a week and it's only Thursday.

Fall is definitely in the air. We are waking up to chilly mornings in the mid 70s. It feels great. We often take Dalen to school and Mario to work with the windows down. This is Cola's favorite treat. She loves to stick a few fingers out the side of the cracked window. It's the small things...

THE Talk

I am beginning to notice as parents, Mario and I will have many "talks". Talks that share tragedy to our children, talks that pertain to sharpening of ones character, talks that encourage one to behave better, talks that answer difficult questions...our life is one dramatic conversation after another separated by BIG events or small convictions letting us know change must take place.

Today was Dalen's birthday, he turned 4. I am so proud of him! It was his wish to play outside, ride his bike, cookout and eat by the pool. We then came inside and minutes later it began to downpour so Dalen himself cut his cake. It was then something happened. Something really BIG and literally nauseating.

I realized in that moment our family needed a talk. My son was cutting his THIRD birthday cake. Yes, he has had three different celebrations with extended family, friends and tonight, our immediate family. I became literally nauseous. As a parent, overindulgence is just as bad as neglect because you are indeed neglecting things like balance.

But I am so proud of our family. In that moment, that nauseating moment, we got together, got down on our knees, got a trash bag and began to clean out the toys. We explained with new toys coming in, the old (if you can even call them that) ones need to go to other people who have nothing. As we explained to Dalen what was happening the tears rolled and a tantrum took place but we kept doing what was right. Doing what is right isn't always comfortable but it is just that, right, and at the end of the day I don't want to be stalked by the shadow of my dark and lurking conscience. I want to be joyful in knowing I am pure in heart and that I have enabled my children to give in some kind of way.

I have repented for the three parties. Of course, readers may think its silly to be ashamed or convicted of the fact that I feel awful for three parties and too many gifts to place in our house. I don't feel guilty for blessings I feel convicted for greed and overindulgence. It will not have place in my home.

This year is the best birthday yet. On the day America has created for kids to receive more than they need, my son learned to give.

I would also like to express a friend in need as well. I have a friend who is moving to Cambodia early next year. She has to raise money to go and she needs my help and YOURS. None of us can do everything but we can all do something! All of our "little bit" turns out to be a lot.

I am honored to call Abby my friend. What a courageous woman of character and empathy and compassion! She is leaving her family, friends, home and JOB to give. Help her change the lives of others! You can send your monetary gifts to:
PLC 4235 TL Rogers St NE Cleveland, TN 37312

Also, please make sure to include her name, Abby Fletcher, in the memo line.

FOUR!

Tomorrow Dalen turns four! Every time you hear a mom talk about her child's birthday you hear things like I can't believe he/she was born X years ago or my little boy/girl is growing up (with a tear in their eye). I really try not to grieve the aging of my kids. I am happy they are healthy and growing, learning and listening and going to school where Dalen loves being with other students.

Of course the older they get the less cute they are and more handsome they become and less innocent they are and more guilty you find them but I believe so much in the future of my kids that I get excited to see it getting closer. Of course, I will miss Dalen asking curious questions in his pure innocence or struggling to say certain words but I like moving forward not grieving the passing of yesterday.

We celebrated Dalen's b-day at Chuck E Cheese. Umm, someone remind me to never do that again on a Saturday afternoon! YIKES! There were times I just wasn't sure if we were at the zoo, juvenile detention center or circus! When I first arrived I looked around and saw several parents sitting at tables drinking beer and I thought why in the world would they serve beer at a children's play place?? Just spend two hours there....you will TOTALLY know why! Everytime the noise would surpass the level of believable I would look at one of the adults and say ANOTHER ROUND PLEASE! lol

Anyways, the kids had a blast, I wasn't responsible for any set up or clean up, the kids were well fed and entertained and they each got to take things home after exchanging their tickets for prizes. After a few kids tried to jump over the wall hiding Chuck E and begin punching him calling him stupid and big nose I was just about to phone Dr. Phil to psychoanalize the setting. I mean really?? Big nose? Stupid? Its a robotic rat! Give the machine a break!

I am proud to say Dalen and all of his party guests were terrific! They made me very proud! Happy Birthday Dalen!

The Life of Me

Where do I begin?? Cola is climbing out of her crib every hour of the night, Dalen is loving school, Mario is working harder than ever and I'm still horrible at cleaning and thanking God for easy crock pot recipes that my family actually enjoys.

We just finished a trip to Tennessee to see our family and friends. Dalen had his first "sleepover" with his cousin and grandmother (and sister, kind of) and I have to mention my (teacher) mother had the night complete with picture guessing games, glow in the dark masks, bubble baths, and I will never forget when she brought out the 1980s CD player, covered in dust from the garage and played songs off of a CD call 50 Silly Songs. Can I just sum it up and say I was wishing it was more like 5 Silly Songs?? hahahaha Dalen must have been thinking the same thing because after about 1 1/2 songs he said, "Mom Mom can you PUH-LEASE turn that off its making me CRAZY?!"

My college roommate had her baby while I was home. I always love when friends have babies! I got to see so many friends and share a lot of laughs, hopes and MEALS. It was a phenomenal trip. Not too long, not too short. I was able to squeeze everything and everyone in. The kids also enjoyed a trip to Chuck E Cheese and a pre-birthday party to celebrate Dalen's 4th birthday (which is on the 19th).

Today Dalen learned no one lives forever and informed us his friend at school had a grandparent to die. I found myself very thankful again my kids have grandparents, super involved ones and that I still have 3 out of the 4 of mine-WHAT A RARITY, WHAT A BLESSING!

I'll never forget one moment I exchanged with my grandmother this trip. She asked me if I was ready to go home to Mario and I said, "YES! I haven't seen him in 5 days!" In no more than what seemed like I second I had calculated it had been over a thousand since she's seen my grandfather. So sad, but oh, so true. My husband and I do life together, sometimes travel apart, share laughs, exchange tears and fight until we are laughing again and in that moment I let my mind go far enough to think of what life could be without him. I concluded I would have no life in me. Right now, I find myself living, breathing, waking up everyday to make his dreams possible, my kids content and myself fulfilled. If they weren't here what would I be without them? It was really for the most part unimaginable!

I am not sure why I didn't think of the fact that I was flying home on 9/11 but I had a GREAT friend remind me :) Thanks A! lol
I arrived at the airport to an eerily quiet gate. It was a somber experience and I felt the need to not let me children off too far. We boarded the plane and after discovering my daughter colored all over the airplane window but I just held her tightly with my right arm and my left around my son. I am not an emotional person and it bothers me when people re-grieve losses every anniversary but 9/11 was very real to me on that plane. My son straddled my lap and fell fast asleep on my chest and my daughter straddled my knees and slept on his back. I was drenched in sweat and contemplated asking for a refund for the seat my son never even used. :)

I find myself reflecting more, appreciating the greater things in life and pondering memories on a deeper scale because tomorrow it's the only tangible thing we will have left of today. And I am teary at this point of this blog because I never thought that I could have so little and I feel like I have so much-two great parents, a husband I would NEVER trade or wish away, the prettiest kids in the world, two rockstar sissies and loyal friends I love so much.

What is the life of you??

Wonderfully Awkward

Tonight we went to a surprise birthday party for another youth pastor in town Mario met when we first moved here. He and his wife have become friends of ours and the kids had a great time teaming up with their 3 kids and playing and eating like crazy!

But of course being at a party brings all different people who are not connected but come together for one person or celebratory event. You get people from all walks of life, singles, parents, newlyweds, grandparents...it's a melting pot for sure. I'm getting better at these scenes since I have been thrust into many this last year but it still doesn't take away those awkwardly moments that can't be avoided.

Like that awkward moment where a young woman, holding her oh-so-tiny newborn in a sling, tells you how well nursing is going and then you see her pile her plate high with pepper jack cheese and hot wings and think yeah that "well" is about to turn to HORRID! And you have that awkward moment do I inform her that's really going to upset her baby's tummy or do I just let it go in fear of a post pregnancy hormonal outburst that she indeed knows what she is doing??

Or what about that awkward moment where you are in a circle with three or four moms who begin telling their kids names who just happen to all be Biblical names and they start talking about how they prayed about the names they chose and then there is that awkward moment of silence and all heads turn to me for me, the pastor's wife, to confess my daughter's name is Cola and I picked it b-c I liked it, HA! You know when you watch movies and you hear the crickets in a very strange moment?? That really happens!

And of course where could we go with Dalen in tow where he doesn't punch, kick, or hold another kid hostage or break something?? Then there is always that awkward moment of offering to pay for the item praying you won't have to take out a loan to afford to replace it! I have to confess sometimes you just want to tell the other parent the endless whining of your child and never ending pestering deserved that punch right in the gut but of course I refrain and make my son "do the right thing" and apologize. KIDDING! (kind of)

I'm just being honest, I have a lot of under the breath moments where I mumble my thoughts under my breath to my husband and he gets totally annoyed and occasionally mortified that yes, he married the woman who is totally brave enough to walk off from someone who is nosey enough to ask how much we make. My favorite is when people we meet offer to babysit our kids or take our kids somewhere in the first five minutes of conversation I LOVE taking that small sip of water and holding the bottle JUST long enough in front of my mouth to shield a quiet "in your dreams".

Oh, the places we go and people we meet.

New Recipe Anxiety

I must confess I have made so many alterations to my diet and consumption of food in the last year I think I am not even aware of all I have done. My weight loss journey is something I was openly talking and blogging about because so many people would ask questions (how are you losing it? how much more do you need to lose? how much have you lost? what is your weight? what was your biggest weigh in?) but honestly I got so tired of people thinking they needed to advise me on my intake of food I stopped blogging and talking about it.

Of course when I would share my changes to my diet or how I maintained self-control others would so condemingly tell me some of the choices I was making were "obssessive" or unhealthy. Not trying to turn diet talk and lifestyle changes spiritual but the only way I can explain it is that people are constantly trying to invade my life with their PERSONAL convictions by defining them as sound doctrine. I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested. If you don't like that at one point I didn't keep two weeks of groceries in my house to avoid overeating keep your opinions to yourself. Just because you aren't comfortable with my choices doesn't mean the choice isn't right and beneficial for myself.

Anyways, with Dalen starting school I have now begun grocery shopping for a week at a time. I buy all his lunch items and dinner meals for the week typically on Saturday. I am pleased to say that I have done VERY well with not over eating and it's helped me select better items for Dalen's lunches as well. Anyone heard of Granola Thins? YUM! They are thin squares of granola and the back of then are coated in peanut butter, caramel or chocolate. Did I mention they are only 80 calories? And did I mention Dalen loves them?? I have substituted Oreos with these and substituted ritz crackers with cheese with wheat thins and sometimes I will put Nutella on them.

I am also proud to say I have eased salads in my diet (which I have never been a fan of) and I am trying to ease fish into my diet as well! I am not sure how I will EVER conquer that constant desire to feel so full but I am trying. Salads and fish are so lite that it is helping me eat these things as opposed to heavy and greasy food items such as fried chicken. I also, now have a scale in my house and weigh myself once a day to keep tabs on maintaining what I have lost. I really felt like losing the weight would be the hardest but maintaining the loss has definately been hardest. It's the ultimate test to see whether you have done a diet versus a life change.

Has anyone heard of the all natural hCG diet? I heard of it about 2 years ago from a friend whose sisters in law and mother in law lost tons of weight but never tried it. You supposedly take all natural drops of a hormone that helps curb appetite. You consume only 500 calories a day while your body feeds off of fats you already have present in your body and maintain a feeling of fullness because technically your body is eating off of fats. It sounds really intersting if anyone has info on this diet let me know.

I have done an amazing job cooking EVERY night. I am in constant search of new recipes for the crock pot and trying new things. I have to confess every time I make something new I get new recipe anxiety. I stand over the crock pot wondering if it's going to be a success or fail. Luckily of all of the recipes I have tried only one has been horrible. Here has been an amazingly easy and yummy recipe I tried a few weeks ago.

4-5 lb pot roast
1 packet of dry italian dressing
1 packet of dry ranch dressing
1 packet of dry brown gravy
1 cup of water

mix dressings and gravy together in a bowl then pour water in it. place pot roast in crock pot and pour mixture around and on top of roast. let cook for 6-8 hours and add potatoes and carrots if you want. I usually end up adding an additional 1/2 cup of water throughout the day to keep the roast from getting dry.

Happy cooking!

Update!

Wow, how do I let myself go so long without blogging? Here is what is going on with the Hoods...

-Dalen started school this week. He LOVES it! He has already learned to swing without being pushed and we've been told we should have named him Justice b-c he demands it! Sounds right to me.

-Cola is climbing out of her crib....EVERY night. She goes and wakes Dalen up and then they come down and wake us up. Ugh, another phase...at least we are hoping.

-Borders Bookstore is going out of business. All books are 40-60% off. I just finished Bristol Palin's book and now I am reading Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar's book, A Love That Multiplies. I takes a lot not to go back everyday and splurge on more books.

-Cola has pink eye. Needless to say everyone in our home has been washing their hands about 30 times a day.

-We are still house hunting. Finger crossed and many prayers prayed for that chapter to soon close.

-Mario and I had one date night to go see The Help. Umm, seriously do NOT miss this must see!

-Dalen is going to be 4 next month! I can't believe it! Still deciding what to do for his b-day!

-I have heard of 3 couples I know who are expecting twins! Yikes, I so hope it's not in the water! I also recently read an article that said the rate for twins is at an all time high. Interesting....

Proud

I just finished Raising Children by Jane Evans. I am still reading Brining Up Boys and because parenting is constantly calling my name these books are showing me multiple opportunities to correct, praise, love, nurture, comfort and discipline my little ones.

I have had two VERY good days with my son. I don't think it's him that has changed a bit I think it has been my disciplining skills, patience and boldness to not back down.

I must share this morning's moment that had me oh so proud! By 9 a.m. I had been to the grocery store, put a roast in the slow cooker (pray it turns out!), arranged fresh flowers on the table and fed the kids breakfast. I realized rather quickly that our little lady would barely touch her breakfast. Something MUST be terribly wrong. This kid eats more than me!

Her head hung low, her eyes were heavy and yep, she had a fever. Don't you hate it!? This is such a difficult age for a kid to have a fever! Because they can't tell you the other symptoms. Mario and I stood over her as she laid very still on the couch and I felt a little hand grab mine. It was Dalen. She very confidently said, "Let's pray about this!" Mario and I agreed and led the prayer. I can't remember it all but I do remember he started the prayer off with thanks and ended with thanks. Right in the middle of his prayer about "making bad pain go gone" he burped louder than he ever has! Immediately, my eyes opened wide and met with Mario's. We struggled not to laugh and Dalen didn't miss a word.

It was one of those moments where he totally didn't mean burp it just came out. I was very proud of us for not stopping the prayer and correcting him when he obviously didn't mean to do it. I am proud he knows who to call on when someone is sick. I am proud he starts with thanks, because we do indeed have SOOOO much to be thankful for. I am proud he cares for his sister.

I recommend...

A few weeks ago our church had Pastors Ashley and Jane Evans from Adelaide, Australia in for a Sunday morning service. Pastor Ashley preached and I quickly noticed his pretty wife and eight year old son in tow. They pastor a thriving church in South Australia called Paradise Community Church.

After a powerful message delivered by Pastor Ashley and a short word given from his wife we had the privilege of having lunch with them along with some of our other staff members. I was seated by Jane and her charming and inviting accent made it rather easy to talk to her. I learned quickly she was real, down to earth and must love people. After seeing her converse with her son (who was so well behaved you wouldn't believe it!) a few times I concluded if I could be like any mom let me be like her. She was so calm, respectful and knew her son's character so well. She knew just how to respond to him, encourage him and stay patient with him.

About a week ago I found a gift wrapped in white wrapping paper (love that) tied with a black bow and a card underneath on my husband's desk. It was for me. I opened it and it was a copy of her book (which I didn't even know she had written) called Raising Children Without Going Insane. I totally recommend this book for any parent or person who works closely with parents.

Not only is it full of transparent struggles as a mom of three boys it is an encouraging read with highlights of many of their victorious triumphs. She addresses some difficult topics such as; disciplining, parenting the strong willed child (you better believe I did some underlining in that chapter!), seeing the gifts in your children placed there by God and so many more.

It's really amazing how God is using so many books on parenting to help me along in this journey called motherhood. I hope this book may help some of you too!

I usually begin to write a blog after establishing some points or highlights of the kids but not tonight. Maybe because it's 3:23 a.m. or maybe just because there really isn't a point to this blog. I haven't blogged in a while and I hate when I go without. Life this summer has been fantastic! A lot of traveling, planning, and doing ministry with my husband (my favorite!). Now that things have slowed down I am not quite sure what to do with myself.

Everytime I log onto my blog I realize the less and less people are blogging and it makes me so very sad. I love blogs. I love reading about the experience of motherhood through another woman's world and being included in a movie or book review and trying new food someone recommended via blog. I think it's only a short period of time before blogging is a memory and no longer the "it" thing.

I am still reading Bringing Up Boys. I took several weeks off due to VBS and our first youth conference. I still haven't finished Love Wins either. I know I am terrible! Things have been really busy.

There is a lot of talk about a possible tropical storm heading our way. I think her name is Emily?? Don't you hate that?? They take the most innocent, well known, Ms. Pretty Put Together names and mark them to a horrible, destructive, life changing for some storm! When I think of the name Emily I think of a little girl who looks like Mary off of Little House On The Prairie-blond haired, blue eyed, perfect smile, overly sensitive, who in the world could hurt her girl. Oh well, it is what is. I asked some fellow Florideans if they are nervous about the storm talk and they seemed to not even be phased. So I guess if they aren't imagining palm trees whizzing by their windows I shouldn't be either??

Cola has finally hit that stage. She is into EVERYTHING! This morning she managed to eat half a crayon (purple), spray tons of my perfume all over herself (thank goodness I love the smell of Vanilla and Jasmine) AND get the top off of my red nail polish and paint half of her top lip red. This was all in ONE morning. She is starting to stand her ground more everyday, she hits like a boy and I must admit she is pretty fast. I love that when she runs it's like 1/2 gallop and 1/2 prance with an extra spring in her step. She also appears to be scooping air out of her way and pushing it behind her. So cute and funny.

Dalen is quite the big brother. Although they fight on and off all day there is usually at least one moment everyday where I see him comfort her, hold her, kiss her or something of that melt your heart to pieces sort. He has managed to get her out of her crib a few times now. I'm not sure how he does it and I think it's best for my heart I don't know or haven't seen. She has never even cried though so I guess it's not too physically painful.

I guess that's all for this one...

Withdrawls.

Have you ever learned a lesson (possibly more than once) and then more you learn the deeper the wound and the harder to cope? I have really opened myself to be teachable in the last few years of my life. The more I learn, the more I realize I have a long way until I can call myself wise.

As I learn lessons, some painful, others intriguing, and all victorious, I have seen a strength in my character. If I learn a lesson pertaining to motherhood, I try to learn and get back in the same game, situation, circumstance and do it better the next time. I learning that isn't always a strength but rather a weakness at times.

Sometimes the best method to life is to withdraw. Withdrawing isn't a form of laziness but many times it is a strategy of the wise, to back up, reflect, heal and then try again in the right timing. Other times I am certain we should go through no situation twice! But I am learning when a lesson is too painful and damaging to my emotional state and character my best bet is to withdraw. Never mentally but physically.

When you withdraw physically your heart is out of reach but your mind continues to process and healing can take place. There are those places I want to go, people I want to befriend, dreams I want to see come to pass but I am learning thrusting myself into circles and places can be permanently damaging.

Distance can always do a mind good.

27

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 27 and I've already established that 27 is entirely too close to 30 and waaaay to far from 20! I had a great day. Dalen went to off to VBS which left just Cola and I to have the morning to ourselves.

The night before my birthday Dalen came home with Mario with a bouquet of flowers and a singing Shrek card. After sniffing the flowers he faked sneezed several times and then announced the flowers were for "my wedding". HA!

So birthdays should be more about time with family and friends and they are for me but I have to mention I got some AMAZING cards and gifts this year! My mailbox was overflowing (literally) with cards (one of my fav. things in the world) in perfect time for my big day. You can always tell when people spend time picking out the perfect card for you and I can say my friends and family do that really well!

In addition to a dinner at my favorite restaraunt (Bahama Breeze) and some fantastic cards I got a Marshall's gift card (one of my fav. places to shop), a Starbucks gift card, a pair of LOVELY earrings brought from Cambodia from my dear friend A, flowers, a brand new pair of TOMS (sooo excited to wear them) and money! I felt totally spoiled!

Needless to say it was a fabulous day and I can't wait for my 27th year of life!